A dog is for life, not just for Christmas

Suzanne Harrington loves her dogs but knows that ownership is hard work, 365 days a year, and so has some straight talking for those planning to get one for Christmas

What are you getting your beloved for Christmas? No, not your spouse — your pet. The poshest pet shop on earth, Harrods Pet Kingdom, is no more — its Qatari owners shut it down last January to make way for more ladies fashions, so you will have to look elsewhere for your cat’s four poster bed or your pug’s diamond collar. There’s always Etsy, which may not have its own inhouse dog bakery selling pupcakes, but you can still get pet-related goodies like dog collar tags (“Have your people call my people”), sweaters for dogs (“Long as my bitches love me”), or if you really feel you must, a portrait of your pet with matching earrings (for you, not them).

This year my dogs will be opening their canine Christmas stockings full of edible doggy treats and chewy toys on Christmas morning, because they are part of the family and to not get them a present would feel weird. (Although spending more than a fiver per dog would feel even weirder, so it’s probably just as well Harrods pet department closed down). Last Christmas they got doggy chocolates — human chocolate is poisonous to them — and they were delighted.