Lay off booze and enjoy wedding night sex
I feel that I will be so shattered and will have had rather a lot of champagne. I know that sometimes if I drink my performance isn’t up to scratch and I don’t want my wife to think it’s a bigger deal.
You would think that wedding night sex might have lost some of its significance now that 95 % of people have already done the deed before they tie the knot, but it is clearly still a big deal for lots of couples. Estimates suggest that about 90 % of couples expect to have wedding night sex, but many couples don’t manage it.
Most recently, a UK wedding stationery company interviewed 1,000 newlyweds and found that 25% of couples did not have sex on their wedding night. Although exhaustion is the usual excuse, as you rightly point out the main culprit is alcohol. Last year another survey of 2,128 newlyweds found that 52% of couples didn’t have sex on their wedding night — mostly because the groom (25%) was too drunk. In 13% of cases the bride was too drunk and one in ten couples didn’t have sex because they had an argument before the reception ended.
The relationship between alcohol and erectile function is well documented. Roughly 70% of men who drink heavily end up suffering from some form of sexual dysfunction, regardless of age, or the number of years they have been drinking.
Although heavy drinking is often confused with alcoholism, just four small bottles of 5% lager equates to 11.7 units of alcohol. This is double the recommended limit for a man and is considered a high risk level of daily consumption. The most common sexual problems associated with heavy drinking are premature ejaculation, low sexual desire and erectile dysfunction, and since you have already begun to notice that alcohol impairs your sexual performance, you probably need to monitor your drinking a bit more.
Research shows that two to three months of abstinence can reverse alcohol induced sexual dysfunction (Schiavi et al, 1995), but now is not the time to consider quitting. If you stop drinking before the wedding your tolerance will be lowered for the big day and it is not realistic to think that you will be able to stick to orange squash when everyone around you is necking champagne. You should, at least, try to pace yourself by drinking slowly and alternating alcohol with water or soft drinks. If you consume the same number of drinks, but extend the time you take to drink them, your blood alcohol count will be lower when you hit the sack.
With regard to sex, the easiest option is to reschedule it: slip away between the ceremony and the reception. In the transition from one event to the next, most guests will be too busy chatting and drinking to notice your absence. Alternatively, talk to your fiancée about how she feels about the issue. She may well be relieved if you suggest saving wedding night sex for the morning after, when you will both be more rested and relaxed.
If booze does get the better of you (singular or plural), by the end of the night, the quickest way to clear alcohol from your system is to eat something. In a study designed to test which foods helped to eliminate alcohol from the blood stream, it was found that carbohydrate, fat and protein all worked equally well, but it took 45% longer to clear alcohol from the system of participants who ate nothing.
Other research shows that oral fructose increases the rate of alcohol metabolism in healthy humans. Fructose is a naturally occurring sugar, which is found in honey, fruits and juices (so adding fresh orange or peach juice to your champagne may help stave off drunkenness).
Research by Onyesom (2005) has demonstrated that pure honey increases the rate that the body eliminates alcohol by about 30%. It also reduces peak blood alcohol level. If eating tablespoons of honey on your wedding night doesn’t appeal you can buy fructose in crystalline form from supermarkets and health food shops.
If you can stomach 90g dissolved in water, you will accelerate the elimination of alcohol from your bloodstream by about 40% (Ylikahri & Leino, 2008). It’s a one time only technique obviously, but if it gets you through your wedding night, it’s worth it.
* Send your questions to suzigodson@mac.com
