Is porn to blame for quickie sex habit?

Q: My boyfriend and I only ever have quickies. We’re both in our early 20s. 

Do you think that it could be related to him watching porn (he’s told me that he does watch it very occasionally) and thinking that’s the only way to do it? How can I broach the topic without hurting his feelings?

A: Your boyfriend has obviously been open with you about the fact that he watches porn, yet you feel anxious about broaching the subject with him. You are not alone in that. Porn may be ubiquitous, but we find it incredibly difficult to talk about what it means within relationships and how it impacts feelings of intimacy or self-esteem. That’s because talking about porn means talking about masturbation. Although it is healthy and necessary, masturbation is often imbued with feelings of guilt and shame.