Cruel to be kind: Parents should not be their children's friends

BEDTIME is 8pm, you tell your child. 

He argues that he wants to stay up until 8.30pm. You reiterate that bedtime’s at 8pm. “I want to stay up later,” he objects. “Now, bedtime is at 7.45pm,” you say. “Ok, fine, I’ll take 8pm,” he says. You reply: “Now, it’s at 7.30pm.”

It’s called reverse negotiation: When your child lobbies for something you’re not happy to give him, he ends up with less than he had when he started. It works a charm, says Dr Robin Berman, psychiatrist, associate professor at University of California, Los Angeles, and author of Hate Me Now, Thank Me Later, How to Raise Your Child with Love and Limits.