American born and proud to be Irish

I’M wary of nationalism. It’s silly to be overtly proud of something you didn’t choose. No-one chooses where they were born or what they look like, yet people flaunt both as if they had something to do with it. But when you leave your own nation and another accepts you, you feel proud.

I am an American, and was living in Prague, as a saxophonist, when two great men from Cork asked me to join their band. After performing together for three years, we left for Cork, a place, they said, that was good for playing music and the second biggest city in Ireland (this conjured images of a Chicago-sized city in the south of Ireland).

I came to Ireland with nothing except a saxophone and my two best friends. I had no idea my best friends would turn into so many friends, and that my saxophone would turn into so much music.

I was an illegal immigrant in Ireland for the first five years, because I couldn’t find a job willing to procure a work visa for me. I survived through busking and performing. I went out every day (or every day it wasn’t raining) and played for my supper.

Many people were generous, though they never seemed to have that much themselves. There were many strangers I never got to thank for their generosity. I played my heart out on the street, so I could eat food and pay rent. Over the years, I began to perform with bands all over the country.

As the music situation improved the immigration situation deteriorated. I was determined to acquire a visa as a self-employed musician, but, in 2006, I received a notice of deportation. I just didn’t fit into any category and the cold, bureaucratic hand of government wanted me to go away.

Fatefully, I met a woman who was to receive the National Award for Bravery and she invited me to join her at the ceremony to request help from the top brass. Neither of us spoke to the Minister for Justice about my situation, but she gave him a letter I had written about my case. The following day, I was informed that he would resolve the situation if I applied for special permission to remain temporarily in the State.

Eventually, I was granted a visa for two years and felt relieved that I hadn’t lost everything I loved the most: my friends and my livelihood. It was that visa that led me to become an Irish citizen last month. I am under no illusions about how lucky I am to still be here.

There are, and have been, so many others, like myself, who were not as lucky and have left voluntarily or suffered deportation. But why do immigrants suffer injustice, isolation, hunger, homelessness, unemployment, and poverty? Because going back is worse than where you might end up and failure is often not an option.

For some, America is a good place to make money. But what good is the accumulation of money at the expense of everything else of value? If you don’t care about social justice, equality, the environment, or your taxes spent on illegal wars that lead to innocent civilian deaths, then it’s a great place. Its hyper-capitalist culture pits everyone against each other, and fractures communities. It leads to a distorted desire to ‘belong’ that is manifested in the Church, the army, and the gang.

But Ireland has a sense of belonging in its communities that is far healthier, more secular, and humanistic. Ireland has fought hard against oppression and imperialism and it can empathise with people who are less well-off.

I’m proud to now be a citizen of a country, and part of a society, that provides affordable public healthcare, higher-level education, and social welfare, that has allowed me to play music for a living and where people care for one another.

But it saddens me to see the economic Americanisation of Ireland. America’s capitalism trumps its democracy. Why must we blindly follow capitalism’s doctrine of maximising profit to the point where we’ve commodified everything in nature to only profit a corporation? How can we let our government privatise our water supply and energy resources? I’ve seen what it looks like and it isn’t pretty.

* Gary Baus is a musician and DJ.