Mealtimes should be free of gadgetry

We should be wary of how our children use tablets and other devices — especially at mealtimes, writes Áilín Quinlan.

Screen burn

Brightly coloured, child-friendly and offering hours of exciting play — the recent surge in demand for electronic, internet-enabled gadgets for the under-fives should come as no surprise.

Some of the top toys for the little ’uns this Christmas included the LeapFrog Ultra, a tablet with camera, wi-fi and internet access and the ability to use some 800 apps, e-books and games (though with a lock-down function to prevent kids accessing unsafe content).

Another is the VTech Inno Tab, also loaded with age-appropriate apps, games and read-along audiobooks as well as a camera and allows kids to paint and draw using an art studio app.

The popularity of gadget-toys such as these is rising steadily — in Britain it’s estimated that just under 30% of three-and-four-year olds are using a tablet computer at home, while in the US, research has found that about 38% of children under the age of two have used a mobile device, up from 10% in 2011.

So, new findings that up to two thirds of toddlers are watching TV, a DVD or playing on one of these gadgets at mealtimes, may not come as any big surprise.

As any parent will know, having toddlers at the table can be frustrating and messy, even at the best of times — three-quarters of parents admit to using technology to persuade their child to finish a meal — but, say the experts, mealtimes can provide crucial lessons in social interaction and table etiquette.

The apparent advantages of getting some peace and quiet at the table by allowing your child to eat while simultaneously playing on a tablet or watching TV can be cancelled out by the resultant lack of social interaction — and failure to learn basic communication skills and table manners.

Many parents are buying internet-enabled gadgets for young children — but they don’t always consider the implications, warns child behaviour and development specialist, Nicola Erasmus of the Inspire Child Development Centre in Naas, Co Kildare.

“A lot of parents are buying tablets for three and four-year-olds, and not putting nanny locks on them to restrict internet access, simply because they don’t know how to do it or because they assume the child will not go on Youtube — but they do, and they’re able to do it.”

That is just one of her concerns — another is allowing children to use them at mealtimes.

Family mealtimes should be a time for sitting down and talking about the day’s news, she says.

“It’s important to interact with children at the table about their day, and what they liked about it. It’s good to talk about the food and how it is cooked and where it come from.

“I don’t think these toys should be used as a distraction at mealtimes.”

But, says Erasmus, a lot of parents will hand their child a gadget and let them play with it at the table — which also means they’re not concentrating on their food, so not enjoying it as much. Being preoccupied with an internet-enabled device at mealtimes can also lead to children eating too much, she warns.

“I’d be concerned about the use of this technology. Parents are using it too quickly without thinking about how best to incorporate it in everyday life.

“They’re using it as a child-minding or nanny device when shopping, for example, or in the car when they could interact with the child, or play car games such as I Spy.

“It’s about using it in moderation and keeping a balance. I wouldn’t let children eat in front of the TV or use a gadget at mealtimes.,” she says, adding that she believes mealtimes should be completely free of gadgetry.

Parents should ask themselves what a child is actually getting out of the family dinner if they spend it playing with technology, observes child and adolescent psychologist Kate Byrne who advises parents to ban technology from the dinner table. The table is a place where children can learn important social cues, she agrees.

“They learn to communicate by observing what other people are doing and when they concentrate on technology they’re not learning anything. “At mealtimes they should be learning about social cues, language, facial expression and accepted social interactive behaviour because as human beings, we learn by observation.”

Byrne says that there is also a growing body of belief that technology may be actually changing the way our children think — affecting their ability to focus, concentrate and retain information.

“Over-use of technology can contribute to a desire for immediate gratification and affect children’s ability to concentrate.”

Back to basics

¦ Introduce an hour of completely tech- free time every day, says child behaviour and development specialist, Nicola Erasmus.

During this hour, parents must not be on their mobiles or laptops, the TV is off and the children do not have access to any devices.

¦ Sit down with your child and take the time to show them how to use a gadget — use it as interactive parent-and-child time — and then let them off to play a game.

¦ If a child wants to play with an electronic toy at the dinner table explain that this is not permissible. Then promise them some time with the toy after the meal, if they behave well at the table, says Byrne. “Have reasonable and realistic expectations of how long a child should be expected to sit at the dinner table, given their age and developmental stage,” she cautions.

¦ Allow your child to earn tokens for internet or tablet time — if they do something good, for example, they can get a star or a token, which is the equivalent of five minutes of tablet time.

¦ If your child throws tantrums or exhibits bad behaviour at mealtimes, get to the bottom of the problem rather than distracting them with an electronic game. “It could be that they’re are picky eaters or their concentration needs to be improved or they want more attention,” says Erasmus.

However, it could also be because the parent is concentrating so much on their own tablet or smartphone leaving the child without sufficient interaction or stimulation.

¦ Parents should make a priority of being good role models in this area — so avoid using gadgets yourself while your children are eating.