My week of caffeine-free hell

CAFFEINE is the first thing I consume in the morning and the last thing at night.

Coke, coffee, chocolate (20mg of caffeine in 100g of milk chocolate), tea and energy drinks. That’s my staple diet.

There is much information online about the side-effects of caffeine consumption. In Harvard medical studies and in Wikipedia, myriad ailments and magical benefits are attributed to the substance.

General practitioner Dr Maura Leahy in Bishopstown, Cork, said “there is no conclusive medical stance on the effects of caffeine. The jury is out.”

Caffeine is a stimulant. It increases your heart rate and it is addictive.

Dr Leahy drinks coffee but not much. “I would be wary of anything that is addictive and has withdrawal effects.”

I gave up the elixir of life for seven days. I went cold turkey on a Friday, which is not a good day to stop.

On Fridays, I gear up for the weekend with a bottle of coke, chased down with a coffee, followed by another coffee at 11am, another at lunch, one at 3pm, another before work finishes, and a bottle of coke after work.

By Friday evening, it is debatable whether or not I am suitable to drive.

My first day of cold turkey was tough. By 10.30am, I had a headache, I wasn’t interested in my work and I was yearning for a nap. On Friday evening I had a camogie match, at 7pm. I went for a nap after work, to ensure I would be fighting fit to play, and I woke up at 8am Saturday morning, still in my work clothes and aching.

I felt like I had run a marathon and gone hard on the sauce. My mouth was dry, my head was sore, it hurt to move and the sunlight was stinging my eyes.

Dr Leahy said a caffeine cold turkey should take three days and there are a number of withdrawal symptoms; muscle ache, headaches and sore eyes are some.

Others include irritability and broken sleep; neither of which was an issue.

The weekend was difficult without caffeine. I usually start a Saturday with a breakfast of coke and chocolate.

When I finally managed to rouse myself, I limped, with aching muscles, to the shop for my brekkie. I was outside in the blazing sun before I remembered my dedication to caffeine-deprivation. I went back to bed.

I eventually got up, much later in the day, and had several slices of honey-and-jam toast to substitute the caffeine kick with good, wholesome sugar. It was not successful.

My day was sluggish and difficult. That night, going out was awkward. I only drink the occasional beer and, without coke and Red Bull, I was hugely restricted in my drink choices.

Sunday, day three, was a wasted day of headaches, fatigue and self-pity, but by Monday I was back to normal, chirpy and full of chat, and the brain firing on all cylinders.

That said, I was jealous of others, sipping hot mugs of coffee and tea, and every time someone said they were putting on the kettle or going for a coffee, it hurt.

I began to drink Fanta as a substitute.

Tuesday again felt like a normal day, although a second two-litre bottle of fizzy orange was consumed to combat the deprivation, and the desire to drink a coffee was still strong.

Dr Leahy said coffee cravings take three to four weeks to dissipate. I would be reinstated in my caffeine haze long before that could happen.

On my sixth day, Wednesday, I felt slightly fatigued, and more Fanta was needed to quell the coffee desire.

My final day was agony. I was just waiting for Friday. I bought a bottle of coke on the way home from work, in preparation. I kept it cool in the fridge. I cracked it open at midnight. Prohibition was over.

It was a difficult week, not impossible, but certainly more difficult than usual.

The severe withdrawal symptoms were an eye-opener as to the strong effects of the substance.

I will never give up caffeine again. I love it too much, but I am at least more conscious of its potency and less likely to drink it as frivolously as before.

That said, I think caffeine can be a great enhancement in life and I welcome its effects.

Just because something is addictive does not make it bad. Exercise is addictive. Working out stimulates the mind and increases your heart rate.

Should I be wary of that, too?