Your guide to reconnecting with the kids

PARENTS are rubbish human beings who get everything wrong as they blunder about paying the mortgage and the bills and putting food on the table.

This leaves them hardly any time for their kids, so when the kids go out setting fire to cars, instead of doing their science homework, it’s the parents’ fault. Obviously.

What a relief that those helpful people at Ribena — the sugary drink — have collaborated with a child psychologist to formulate ‘12 minutes to reconnect’. You see, the average rubbish parent only spends 39 minutes a day of ‘quality’ time with their kids; after work, they are making dinner and washing up the breakfast dishes, and defleaing the cat, and searching for lost socks. According to 42% of parents surveyed by Ribena, this counts as a fail, in terms of meaningful interaction with their kids; half were worried they weren’t good enough parents during the week. (Is it just me, or does 39 minutes sound like an eternity?)