Wetting the bed: Put this distressing problem to bed

MANY parents have a child who wets the bed. Research shows that bed-wetting occurs in more than half of Irish families, but children still feel distressed and humiliated when they do it. Also, parents worry the children miss out on many of the activities that are part and parcel of childhood.

According to a new study by the ‘Search for a Dry Bed Campaign’, 62% of participating parents say their child’s bed-wetting prevents them from enjoying sleep-overs and summer camps.

Of those questioned, 14% say being away from home made the matter worse, yet only one in 10 parents seek medical advice.

Nine-year-old Emmet Doyle, from Waterford, has had problems with bed-wetting since he was a baby, and his parents, Alan and Cliona, tried every tactic to help him overcome the issue.

But it wasn’t until six months ago that the issue was resolved.

“We noticed the problem soon after we toilet-trained Emmet, as he just wasn’t mastering the art of being dry through the night,” says his mother, Cliona (who also has four other children, aged from one to 13).

“We had him in pull-ups at night, but he still seemed to be wet every single morning. It was very hard to deal with — there was a constant smell from the room and he was never able to have friends over.

“We cut out the late-night drinks, got him to go to the toilet before bed, put plastic coverings on his bed, lifted him onto the toilet during the night, and even took him to several healthcare professionals, including the public health nurse, a bed-wetting clinic and the GP, but nothing seemed to work.”

Because Emmet had become used to wetting the bed, he began to view it as normal.

“He was very embarrassed about it when he was younger, but as he got older it seemed to have become a way of life for him,” says Cliona.

“Last year, his local youth club was going away for the weekend and we assumed he wouldn’t want to go, but he surprised us by saying he didn’t want to miss out.

“So, we had a word with the group leaders and they said that there wouldn’t be a problem — he would have all the privacy he needed to get ready for bed each night, and if he had any accidents they would gladly deal with it, as they had encountered the problem several times with other boys and girls.”

But, at the end of last year, the Waterford boy finally had enough and asked his mother to help him to conquer the problem.

“On several occasions, we had taken him to the doctor, who had prescribed medicine, but Emmet refused to take it,” says his mother.

“But, in December 2012, he asked me to take him back, as he said he had had enough and was ready to take whatever medicine the doctor could give him to try and solve this problem. I think the real reason behind it was because he had asked for an X-Box for Christmas and he was terrified he would end up in his bedroom playing it alone and not be able to bring his friends in. So, we went to the doctor again and, within days of starting his medication, he was dry and still is.

“Today, he is a totally different child — confident, cheerful and happy — all the things he wasn’t a year ago.

“I would advise other parents to persevere. Get the help and advice that is out there and make sure that the child knows that it is not their fault.”

Dr Nick Van Der Spek, consultant paediatrician at Cavan General Hospital, says it’s important to reassure children that they are not the only ones with this problem.

“Inform children that bed-wetting is common and that there are probably other children in their class who wet the bed, but don’t tell anyone,” he says. “Ninety nine percent will become dry, but intervention from the GP or public health nurse will speed up the process.”

Specialist help includes: alarms, medication and psychological assessments. Parents are advised to visit the GP for help, if the child is still bed-wetting after five, and after the age of seven.

“However, medical help should be sought at a younger age, if there are day-time problems, such as kidney infections, constipation and daytime urgency issues,” Van Der Spek says.