Boyz will always be boyz
NEWS of a Boyzone reunion will have sent many a middle-aged heart a-flutter. With Westlife no more and Take That between projects, a vacancy has opened for what might diplomatically be called a ‘vintage’ boyband.
But in a world where One Direction have their own range of Ugg boots, and in which Bieber fever is approaching the pop equivalent of Spanish Influenza, can four careworn 30-somethings cut it as pin-ups?
Lest we forget, in their original incarnation, Boyzone were marketed as beefy urchins with photogenic pouts and toned pecs. Some 20 years on, with distinct signs of saggy jowls and crows feet, is it really plausible that Ronan Keating and friends can go back to work with dignity intact?
Actually, there is a long tradition of, ahem, ‘older’ pop stars dusting down their leather trousers and returning to active duty. The text book case is Take That, if anything, more credible and wildly adored second time around. Age has conferred dignity, especially on Gary Barlow, an old-fashioned balladeer who always looked a bit silly prancing around in vest-tops anyway. Now he has an excuse for appearing foolish, wiggling his bottom to ‘Relight My Fire’. He’s a 38-year-old dad.
Of course pop comebacks can go terribly wrong also. Witness the stop-start rebirth of East 17. The ‘Stay Another Day’ band have reformed no less than five times, though you probably didn’t notice, as a great deal of their gigs were on the pub and cabaret circuit. Just in case Ronan and chums are unsure quite how to proceed, the Irish Examiner has come to the rescue. Here, then, are the 10 commandments for the reformed boyband.
The secret to Take That’s triumphant 2005 return? You could cite singer Gary Barlow’s mature songwriting, the collective nostalgia of a generation of fans, the timelessness of hits such as ‘Back for Good’.
The real reason, arguably, is that they radically re-engineered their image. Out went the horrendous string tops and biker tattoos, in came sensible evening wear and well cut trousers. They were even sponsored by Marks and Spencer at one point, for heaven’s sake. If Ronan wants to signal his burgeoning maturity as a writer, he should immediately convey himself to the nearest high-end tailor.
To be fair, Boyzone already got this part of the formula right with their most recent album, 2010’s Brother. Released in the aftermath of Stephen Gately’s death, it’s a sober, reflective affair, brimming with the sort of emotions to which you generally only have access from your mid-30s onwards — ennui, conflicted feelings about the past, love for your family. These are the sentiments with which your fanbase — nowadays almost as ancient as you — can connect.
Of the many, many cringeful moments during Boyzone’s 2008’s comeback at RDS Dublin, surely the worst was when, stripped to their undies, they mounted treadmills and mugged their way through ‘When The Going Gets Tough’. It was supposed to be an aerobics-themed dance routine — but, from the back of the venue, more closely resembled a bunch of lads hitting the gym after work.
Smarter by far was the approach to choreography taken by Take That on their last tour.
Yes, they danced to ‘Pray’, ‘Relight My Fire’ etc, but it was with a wink and a palpable self-awareness. If you are going to look like dad on the dance floor, it’s smarter to acknowledge the fact straight up.
Going along to see New Kids on the Block and Back Street Boys’ joint-headliner at the O2 last year, your correspondent feared the worst. Neither group had done anything interesting in years. Indeed, the argument could be proffered that NKOTB, especially, were never that compelling a prospect to start with. The secret sauce in this comeback tour, however, was a sense of humour. None of the nine singers on stage took themselves TOO seriously. When a middle-aged guy is singing songs about teenage love, it’s crucial he can laugh at himself.
One reason Take That’s comeback has panned out is that Gary Barlow gave up on his ambition to be the new Elton John. Robbie Williams, meanwhile, was in a position to rejoin only after his solo career started to tank and he found himself in a more humble place. One of the reasons for the original instability in Boyzone, it is believed, was Ronan’s desire to go solo. A Boyzone reunion does not mean he has to sacrifice such ambitions. But it would be wise to set them on the back burner.
The worst sort of comeback tour is the one where the band is so excited about its fantastic new direction that it resents having to perform old songs. But, for the most part, nobody cares about the new stuff. They just want to hear the hits, recreated just like they remember them.
One of the reasons Take That’s last two tours did such huge box office was because the group was smart enough to invest in their production.
The ‘Circus’ tour had an animatronic elephant, the Progress Live tour featured a giant robot and a sequence in which Robbie appears to burst out of a video screen by way of introducing ‘Let Me Entertain You’.
It’s no secret that, with Stephen passed on, Ronan is the strongest vocalist in Boyzone. But — dare we suggest it — he is far from the most charismatic member of the group.
For their 20th anniversary tour, the classy thing to do will be to give Mikey, Keith, and Shane their moment in the spotlight too.
Fans respect Boyzone because, in boyband terms, they are greater than the sum of their parts. None of them should forget this.
The pop reunions that fail are inevitably those where the bar is set too high. Remember All Saints’ abortive 2006 comeback? The group had recorded a new album and expected the world to tumble quivering at their feet. When the first two singles stiffed, they essentially called the whole thing off. What they SHOULD have done, was organise a huge reunion tour, slipping their (actually rather good) new tracks into the set when nobody was looking. Their downfall was believing they were still at the cutting edge of pop.
You knew Sporty Spice’s solo career was over the moment she started covering ‘Anarchy in the UK’ at music festivals. Similarly Brian McFadden’s post-Westlife statement to the effect that he was about to ‘go indie’ spelled a death-knell for his commercial prospects.
We don’t expect boybands to be musically adventurous or even particularly talented. What we are trying to say, in other words, is please don’t let Mikey Graham anywhere near a guitar.
* Boyzone’s 20th Anniversary Tour is at the O2 Dublin on Nov 28.
