My boyfriend won’t have sex with me because I’m pregnant
A. With a normal pregnancy there is no reason why a couple shouldn’t have sexual intercourse. The foetus is cushioned in the womb by the fluid that surrounds it. The neck of the womb is tightly closed and provides a very firm barrier between it and the outside world. You are right , there is no need to worry. However, if there are contraindications, like a previous miscarriage, do seek medical advice.
As your partner’s fears are becoming an issue, it might be helpful for both of you to raise this concern when going for prenatal care.
The birth of a baby raises many issues and sets new priorities. Your partner is probably re-thinking his role.
Both of you will have new responsibilities and also dreams about the new child. It is an exciting time but can also be frightening.
You two need to talk about how you both feel about the future and name the fears. He may be expressing feelings through his concern about the baby being hurt by sex. This might be masking other fears around the future of caring for a new life.With your bump growing, he may find himself thinking there will be another person who may literally come between you.
As a couple you are facing having to make decisions as to how you will bring up your child.
The second trimester is generally physically more comfortable than the first. You will be more confident about the pregnancy. Many women say that they feel more sexually aroused during this stage than in the first trimester. As the baby grows you adjust to the changes in the body that pregnancy brings. You have to adapt to different positions to be sexual. Some find other positions quite erotic, for example rear entry or side by side. Always remember that intercourse is not the only sexual experience. And do try to continue intimacy by affection, touch and love towards each other.
There can be a decline in interest in the third semester but sex can continue.
Sex, while pregnant can have advantages for the family unit. According to the late Dr Marc Ganem, a renowned sexologist, couples who continued to be sexual into late pregnancy had fewer problems between them after the arrival of the baby. Benefits included couples finding it easier to re-establish their sex life. The likelihood of post natal depression lessens along with better communication about nurturing the baby.
Hopefully you can enjoy your pregnancy but do talk and don’t let the difficulty grow between you. Ask questions of those who are caring for you at this time. After all, pregnancy is normal and, unless there are complications, should be a happy time.
* Marie Daly is a psychosexual therapist with Relationships Ireland; visit www.relationshipsirleland.com.
* Please send your questions to: feelgood@examiner.ie
