Table manners for restaurants
Bring them to regular restaurants — just choose carefully, says psychologist, Niamh Hannan, of www.helpme2parent.ie, who, the day we chatted, had lunch out with her three-year-old and 20-month-old.
“We had a nice time, though we just had one course,” says Hannan, who warns against bringing kids to eateries where tables are close and couples are in for cosy meals.
Thumbs up to family-friendly restaurants and bustling cafés, where — if your child’s a little noisy — it won’t be a problem. But you still want them to behave and not disturb other diners.
Don’t assume your kids will know how to behave in a restaurant. “Teach them some of the expectations at home — don’t let them shout at you. Make a rule that you sit at table while it’s dinner time. Try to eat once a day as a family, so they get used to the ritual of eating and chatting together. If they always have TV on at home while eating, it’ll be a problem in a restaurant,” says Hannan.
Give clear instructions and frame them positively. “Say ‘we’re going out for lunch. It’s a big treat. I need you to be big girls and talk nicely to each other’.” Telling them what you don’t want — ‘don’t climb on chairs’ – simply primes them to do what’s not acceptable.
There has to be something in it for them, says Hannan. “Bribery works. They might have to eat a sensible lunch, but there can be a treat at the end.”
Come prepared — with story/picture books, favourite small doll, little car, colouring materials.
“Bring snacks, like bread sticks, to tide them over while they wait for the food,” she says.
Be aware of what you’re bringing to the table. “If a parent’s uptight, children feel it. They’re more likely to behave if they feel the parent’s calmness.”
It’s also easier if you’re meeting other parents or a friend or relative from whom the child takes authority. Talk to your child at table. If you totally focus on catching up with a friend, your child’s likely to act up to get attention.
