Come on over to my place
Still, if there’s one thing we’re known for as a nation, it’s our appetite for a challenge.
This time five or six years ago, many of us would be glibly shopping for an off the rack holiday, and this year, Heaven knows we need one.
If you’re saddled with that flabby MacMansion or a cottage nestled in achingly lovely countryside — it may well be taxed up to the failing gutters and straining at the block work with an interest-only mortgage — why not take advantage of that financial albatross and put it to work for a week or two in the ultimate DIY self-catering holiday?
Home exchanges are a popular way to go abroad, whether it’s for a long city break or a more ambitious fortnight in a large range of countries across the world.
If you can stump up even a budget airfare and can put your house (and your mind) in order for a wide eyed group of complete strangers, this could be a nice little back door to an inexpensive escape to anywhere from the Left Bank of Paris to Vancouver Island in British Columbia.
There’s nothing to stop you advertising your home for exchange independently, but for a relatively small annual fee, a dedicated agency offers a showcase of thousands of potential house swaps with responsible individuals. You have to be prepared to place your belief in people you may not clap eyes on to take perfect care of your family perch while you’re possibly thousands of miles away — not a light undertaking.
Managing and limiting the risk makes sense and having a formal meeting point through a well managed database, makes sense.
Exchanging can be either at the same time as the host family, or you do what is termed a ‘non simultaneous’ exchange if the home you are offering or visiting is a holiday home and available most of the year.
Searching a database of up to 13,000 members can throw up intriguing possibilities, so be open and flexible rather than fastening on one place and narrowing your field. Many veteran exchanging families are free spirits and open to persuasion to go “anywhere/anytime”.
Jim Morrison of the Doors incanted: ‘People are strange’ and we don’t truly appreciate the beauty of what’s right in front of our noses with petrol at €1.60 a litre. Ireland remains a desirable destination.
If you spot something you like, even a glamorous house in Martinique, the owners may be happy to consider taking a change on a trip to foggy old Ireland. Your home does not have to be an equivalent supposed monetary ‘value’ to the one you want to visit, but don’t expect to dupe anyone in this process. Communication and honesty is key.
Obviously the greatest demands for the best homes are at peak seasons. Depending on where you are visiting, some facilities will matter while others can be compromised for a stunning location.
For example if you want to visit a city such as New York, and have no plans to explore wider rural surrounds, a car may not matter. In Reykjavik, you’ll need a car and similarly, if your house is in Bally-go-nowhere, with little public transport, your visiting family will expect the use of the family vehicle (ready at the airport) and comprehensive insurance to cover them arranged for that purpose.
Individual temperament and behaviour remains uncertain, no matter how many boxes a prospective visitor ticks on the page. Specifying a mature, experienced exchanger does not mean they won’t have a quick rifle through the knicker drawers or take the Dresden dishes noted ‘off bounds’ out for the kids to picnic from.
Bald curiosity and the internal frolic of being on holiday — we’re only human.
There’s a level of trust involved of course, but you’d be well advised to put your most sensitive, intimate paperwork and treasures safely out of sight and possibly under lock and key for the duration— and that includes precious toys.
You can choose to exclude young children or teenagers if you are more comfortable with that, but if your house is set up for kids and your guests have a brood, the in-house facilities and robust surroundings will probably be welcome and appropriate at both ends.
If you don’t smoke, don’t choose smokers to leave a toxic stench in their wake.
No-one wants drama or housebound hassle when on holiday. The home must be clean, well presented and accompanied by full instructions for all its working parts, macro and minor. You’ll be expected to leave enough linens for the beds and baths for all comers.
Local maps, leaflets on local attractions and trips, take-out menus, important numbers for services such as the fire brigade, the GP, the nearest hospital, the best steak or pizza in town— think of what you would value when visiting what can feel like the planet Mars to an American or Austrian.
If the cooker heats like Hades from above or if the shower head needs a twist or it explodes off, snaking around the bath, let them know in an upbeat apologetic tone of these charming quirks.
If you neighbours are likely to pass-out if a tyre touches the verge of a shared access — give your visitors the heads up on any local politics.
Finally —do give your insurance company a call to ensure your home is covered during your absence.
Q. My house carpeting and rugs, upstairs and down, are in good condition but really darkened by dirt. I have a mobility issue but wonder if I can I steam clean it myself?
A. If you’ve stairs to deal with, a cleaning specialist is the best way to get the fibres deep down clean with a good steaming. Look for a company that is IICRC certified for technical proficiency. In Cork, Carpet Cleaning Cork work with eco-friendly detergents and will check your rugs for dye fastness before deciding on a cleaning approach. 021-4533398. www.carpetcleanigncork.ie.
Q. We have gold or some sort of gold pretender on our taps. How do I clean them without lifting the finish?
A. Without knowing exactly what your taps are made of or plated with, I would suggest caution. For real grime, try a rub of plain toothpaste (not an aggressive whitening type). Rinse thoroughly. Dishwasher powder well dissolved in warm water will also work. Don’t leave anything chemical, acidic, or abrasive on a plated tap.
Q. There’s a large black stain around a vent on my boiler and it’s marking the wall in my garage. How can I remove it and why is this happening?
A. Not good news. Turn the boiler off immediately and get a registered heating specialist out for a service. I would strongly suggest installing a carbon monoxide alarm, as your boiler does not appear to be completely combusting the fuel, whatever it is, and needs attention. I’m only glad the boiler is not in your house. For further information go to www.carbonmonoxide.ie
* HomeLink International (www.homelink.org) is 60 years in business, and has provided a portal, by magazine subscription and now online, for frugal, adventurous families since 1953. HomeLink pride themselves on getting the right people together to provide peace of mind and ‘shared values’. HomeLink has local representatives here in Ireland, something you may not find with looser, more anonymous sites, where members pick up your details and contact you directly. Prices for a listing start at €100, and if you don’t find your swap this year, the second year is free for new members. Membership allows you to post your details on the HomeLink database and to search for homes across a range of countries. If you’re a member of another listing company, you can even join for a trial three months for just €6.
* Another popular site, Love Home Swap, www.lovehomeswap.com, boasts 5,000 homes and starts at €7.67pm for membership.
* Home Exchange, www.homeexhange.com, champions both home exchange and what is termed ‘hospitality exchange’. This means your guests stay with you and vice-versa. This is ideal for sociable families and retirees with larger homes. Priced from €7.95pm.
* Home for Exchange is a large marketing agency that offers members useful contracts (including for the cars), and accommodation insurance should your partner in the swap cancel and leave you and yours stranded. www.homeforexchange.com. Cheap, at €49.50 for a year’s membership.
* Agencies can introduce you to potential exchangers, but the onus is on you to communicate with them and set your expectation in writing. Most agencies will only guarantee your listing results in an exchange. It’s up to you to make it work.
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