By the sheer force of personality

Mitt Romney has none. Barack Obama has lots. Bill Clinton has an abundance. Charisma, a combination of presence, power and warmth, is key to success — and you can learn it.

MONTHS before last week’s US presidential election, the charisma coach, Olivia Fox Cabane, was handed a video of Republican Party candidate, Mitt Romney. She graded him an ‘F’ for charisma. Romney’s “incongruent”, saying he lacked the three pillars of her model: presence, power and warmth.

She scored President Barack Obama, who was swept back into the White House, an A.

While his cool, professorial personality might suggest Obama is distant, Fox Cabane says he emits a particular charisma, that leads with intellect and focus, a different kind to the warm magnetism of, say, Bill Clinton, one of his predecessors in office.

Clinton got an A+. “What’s phenomenal,” she says, “is that if you interview Republicans, a lot of them will tell you when they meet him: ‘I hated Clinton before I met him and I hate him after I’ve met him, but while meeting him, I loved the man’.”

Fox Cabane has an impressive roster of clients, including executives from corporate giants like Deloitte & Touche and Citigroup, and individuals who pay $150,000 a year for her advise on the art of persuasion.

Her book, The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism, has gone through four print runs since its publication earlier this year in the United States.

Fox Cabane debunks several myths, chiefly that charisma is an innate skill and not a learned behaviour. She cites the iconic Apple guru Steve Jobs as an example. YouTube videos show his transformation from the shy, gauche geek who first presented the Mackintosh, in 1984, to the showman in 2000 bounding confidently around the stage to announce his return as CEO of Apple. Nor, Fox Cabane says, does charisma depend on physical attractiveness, nor is it the preserve of extroverts.

Fox Cabane should know. “I got into this out of desperation,” she says. “In my late teenage years, I was such a socially inept and awkward introvert that I realised I really only had two choices: either exile myself to a desert island or figure out how to make this whole human thing work. I chose the latter - but I’m still keeping the desert island option open.

“By my late teens, I had become quite anxious about my ability to ever smoothly function in society, and was, therefore, extremely keen to study anything that might help me interact better with people. A lot of the research has been done already. After 10 years of deep absorption, this book is the best of what I’ve found out.”

Fox Cabane, 33, draws her ideas from a range of disciplines, including neuroscience, behavioural psychology, athletic conditioning and Hollywood method acting. She grew up in Paris, the daughter of a French father and an American mother, and runs her practice out of New York, having moved to the United States six years ago.

She draws a firm line when it comes to discussing her relationship status. “ If you’ll forgive me, I’ll take the fifth amendment on that one. ”

Charisma is emitted through body language, and facial expressions in particular. The human mind can read facial expressions, for example, in as little as 17 milliseconds, says Fox Cabane in The Charisma Myth.

We all know that moment when the eyes of the person you’re talking to glaze over. A charismatic person will pay attention during conversation, picking up on tone and body ticks, rather than being absorbed in their own thoughts.

An MIT study found that the success or failure of 87% of sales pitches can be predicted by analysing body language, without listening to a word.

“If you think about the way that human beings evolved, we’ve been communicating without language for quite some time,” Fox Cabane says.

“Human language is a relatively recent development in the way that humans have evolved. Language is complex. It is surprisingly slow compared to body language and it’s one that gets shunted aside when things get a bit heated.”

Fox Cabane says women kill their charisma by nodding too much and by providing too many verbal assurances. It makes them look obsequious.

However, many men fall short because they’re uncomfortable with warmth.

After interviewing her, I spent a week working on my charm. Some of the exercises were excruciating.

To stretch my comfort zone, I had to practise conversing with strangers while waiting to get served in cafes. Another involved holding the lift doors open for everyone entering, before getting in last. The kicker was to stand with my back to the door, facing everyone else. Try it. You’ve no idea how weird it’ll make you feel.

I enjoyed asserting my space outdoors, however. I strode purposefully around crowded city streets, getting other people to move out of my way, stopping mild collisions, if necessary (which allowed me to practice my warmth by countering with an apologetic smile).

When I tried my big gorilla stance on my Venezuelan wife, she let out a giggle: “My strong man,” she said. “You look like you’re looking for trouble, like you’re ready for a fight in a bar.”

Mild derision wasn’t the effect I was after, but I suppose inducing laughter is a byproduct of charisma.

¦ The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism, Olivia Fox Cabane, Portfolio, €20.

10 ways to build your charisma

1. Pause for two seconds before you speak.

2. Maintain eye contact: it gives the impression of thoughtfulness and wisdom.

3. Stand like a gorilla: take up space, with a wide stance and your chest puffed out.

4. Speak like a preacher: slow, confident, resonant and warm.

5. Avoid sitting opposite a person — sit beside or at a 90-degree angle.

6. Adopt a regal posture: cut out verbal and nonverbal reassurances, like head-bobbing and excessive uh-huh-ing.

7. When people are defensive (for example, with their arms folded and fists clenched), break their body language lock by handing them something to look at, or something they will have to lean forward to take.

8. Don’t win over opponents by doing favours — ask them for favours. Better still, ask them for something they can give without incurring any cost: their opinion; remind them of any help they’ve given you in the past. (“I did something nice for this person, so I must like them,” they will think).

9. Never interrupt people.

10. Lean back in your chair when negotiating. It implies confidence. We instinctively lean forward when trying to sell, which suggests insecurity.