Online blush

Chris O’Dowd’s tweet put his wife on the spot, writes Arlene Harris.

MOST newlyweds are besotted with each other and every blushing bride would be flattered to know how attractive her husband finds her.

But despite feeling secure that she is desired and revered, how many women would be happy with their spouse posting intimate personal photos on the internet?

Last week, Irish actor Chris O’Dowd tweeted a photo of his new bride Dawn Porter scantily clad in fetching lingerie with the caption: “There are times for restraint and there are times to boast about your sexy new wife! LOOK WHAT I GOT.”

His new bride was less enthusiastic about her husband’s 186,000 followers getting a glimpse of her in her underwear and followed his posting with her own comment on Twitter: ‘That wasn’t the wedding photo I was planning to release… husbands!!’

But although many of us would be horrified to see revealing pictures of ourselves online, psychotherapist and counsellor, Anne Burke says there is nothing wrong with showing the world how much we appreciate our partner, once everyone is happy with the arrangement.

“So long as someone consents to their photograph being posted online, I don’t see it as a problem. However, it would appear at times that this is quite an impulsive act and the partner may not know about it until it happens,” she says.

“Maybe the one who does the posting is carried away in the moment and feels really proud, but there has to be a question raised over the right to post such intimate photos of someone without asking their permission.

“I don’t believe any person should be considered a trophy wife (or husband),” she says. “What are relationships about other than trust, friendship, intimacy and commitment and to consider someone a trophy seems to bring the whole relationship down to a superficial level.”

Counsellor Lisa O’Hara of Relationships Ireland agrees, adding while most people would enjoy the feeling of being desired by their partner, the decision to go public with a picture should be a shared one.

“It is a lovely feeling to know that your partner is proud of you and even nicer when they can express it,” she says.

“But it can become uncomfortable or irritating if you feel they have overstepped your boundary of privacy and it is important to discuss it so it doesn’t happen again.

“We all want to be loved and respected but it would seem unrealistic to think that a relationship will survive on looks alone. It needs, among other things, a shared sense of friendship, fondness and admiration of each other for it to last beyond the initial infatuation period.”

¦ See www.johnstowntherapy.com www.relationshipsireland.ie

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