Talk and touch can help ease premature ejaculation

Q My partner suffers from premature ejaculation. I’ve tried to bring it up but he doesn’t want to discuss it, saying it just means we need to have sex more often. But even when our sex life is active — every second day — it’s still over in five minutes. I never reach an orgasm and find it very frustrating. My guilty escape is having sexual fantasies about other men while using a sex toy. I am 29 years old.

APremature ejaculation is very common, especially for younger men, though not exclusively. But just because your partner has his orgasm, it doesn’t have to be the end of the encounter. He needs to learn how to pleasure you so that you too can have a fulfilling experience. However, for this to happen you first have to talk about what is happening sexually, about what you would like and steer clear from any blame. He is probably upset and embarrassed by what happens.

Premature ejaculation happens when a man gets excited too quickly and this can spoil the pleasure for both. The cause of premature ejaculation is the same as any ejaculation — sexual excitement becomes intense. The man has reached the point of no return. But for you there is the frustrating let down.