Arguments: the overlooked key to healthy, lasting relationships

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Did you know it can be good to argue?

Arguing is usually seen as a sign that a relationship is on the rocks. However, the psychotherapist and lecturer of systemic psychotherapy at University College Dublin, Deirdre Hayes, ( www.deirdrehayes.ie) says a certain amount of squabbling is to be expected.

“When you live alongside someone, you’ll inevitably have arguments because you’re not the same as they are and don’t see the world exactly as they do.” According to US research from 2022, common flashpoints for modern-day couples include spats about family, ranging from tensions with in-laws to disagreements over how to raise children; tiffs about the division of household chores; and disputes about finances.