Love on the job: How we keep the romance alive when working together every day

Jonathan deBurca Butler talks to couples Alan Hughes and Karl Broderick; GastroGays, Patrick Hanlon and Russell Alford and Gogglebox's Des and Laura Grufferty about how they met and how they keep the romance alive when they work together every day

Some of the couples who've balanced business with pleasure: Des & Laura Grufferty; Alan Hughes & Brian McEvoy; The Gastrogays

If you were stuck for the opening scene to a new romantic movie, then Alan Hughes and Karl Broderick’s run in with Cupid will surely offer some inspiration. The couple met one fateful day in Dublin when every star in the known, and unknown, universe were well and truly aligned.

“I was walking down O’Connell Street,” says the Ireland AM presenter, “and Karl dropped his keys. I picked them up and the rest is history. Simple as that.” “It’s slightly more elaborate than that,” recalls Karl. “After he handed me the keys, the heavens opened and we both ended up going into Burger King for shelter. I was twenty-one at the time and remember getting my cup of tea and sitting down to read Smash Hits. Alan had the same idea. He was sitting at another table and as we saw each other there was this acknowledgement.” It all could have ended with that last slug of strongly brewed tea but fate was not yet finished with this story and as the rain gave way to clearer skies, the couple found themselves standing at the same bus stop.

Alan Hughes and husband Karl Broderick

“It turned out that Alan lived in Fairview and I lived in Artane which are right beside each other in Dublin,” says Karl. “He asked for my number and phoned the next day. My mother picked it up. I often think to myself what would have happened had he hung up when he heard my mother. Thankfully he didn’t.” Almost thirty years on, and as their forty thousand plus followers on Instagram see on a regular basis, they couldn’t be happier. Though they both agree that there is “no magic formula” to the rigour of their romance, Alan says that a high degree of compatibility from the off has really helped.

“If you’re having fun, you have a laugh and there’s respect there, then you’re halfway there.” he says. “We have lots in common too. We like to go to shows and, of course, we have our panto. I’d say it would be very different if I was into football or something and Karl wasn’t. So having similar interests helps. But you have to work at it.” Once a year, every year they put that work to the test by producing a panto together. While Karl writes and produces, Alan produces and stars in what has become an increasingly popular annual event.

“The panto is our baby in a way,” says Karl. “It’s the thing we talk about when we’re out for coffee and there are gaps in the conversation, like couples with children do. We bicker about it a little when we’re getting closer to opening night because there are big decisions to be made; people get great entertainment from it. But ultimately, we’re on the same page.” And they plan on keeping that page turning for many more years to come.

“We want to be together,” says Karl. “We did have a break about fifteen years in but we couldn’t stay away from each other. We’re still learning things about each other. Relationships take work and respect. We have a lot of respect for each other.” The very same is true for Gogglebox stars, Des and Laura Grufferty.

“We argue quite regularly,” says Des. “But the making up is more important. In my opinion, if you’re not having an argument on occasion, there’s something wrong in that relationship because there’s somebody not happy. They're just not willing to speak up.” The couple met when Des walked into Laura’s workplace for a haircut just over twenty years ago. Laura’s boss was a friend of the would be suitor and had informed him that there was “a fine thing working in the hairdresser’s”. It turned out to be true and for Des it was “love at first sight”.

“After that first haircut he kept coming back every two weeks,” says Laura. “I think my boss was eager to put the two of us together. I was twenty and he was coming up to twenty-nine so I was a bit nervous of him and I didn’t want to show my hand too early. On Christmas Day, he came up to my apartment with a gift and then dropped me over to my parents. He came in and had a coffee and it was like he had always been there. That night, I remember thinking to myself ‘I actually have feelings for this man’.” Feelings that led Laura to say yes when Des asked her to join him for a Stephen’s Day trip to Dublin. It’s a first date that still causes some cheerful controversy - mainly because it never happened.

The Grufferty family of Gogglebox Ireland

“I got all dolled up and ready to go and he never showed,” says Laura. “So I called him to see if I had mixed up the days but that wasn’t it.” Having put in months of hard yards, and god knows how many haircuts, Des got cold feet. The shy lad from farming stock felt he wouldn’t live up to the expectations of a streetwise towny, and put a halt to proceedings before they had even begun.

“I was devastated,” says Laura. “It took me a while to get over it and I had, to be honest, when I went out to a nightclub in Carlow with some girlfriends. Low and behold, Des was out with a stag. He came up behind me on the dancefloor, put his arms around me and twenty years on, we’re still together.” Laura was quick to forgive him for his post Christmas slip. Two weeks later, the couple were living together and by April they were engaged.

“Des has always been able to make me laugh,” says Laura, “and for me that is huge. He knows how to pull me back in with the smallest things and he never loses that. He does everything he can not just for me but for his kids and people around him. He’s just a gentleman. You can’t buy that. He’s my everything and I know I’m his everything. We work.” GastroGays, Patrick Hanlon and Russell Alford, also work, more often than, together. The highly influential food and travel writers have made a brand out of their relationship and shared passions. And while they say “being able to share in so many experiences together is wonderful”, they acknowledge that carving out “our own independence…is seriously important for a healthy working relationship”.

The couple met as undergrads at Dublin City University. Despite studying different courses in different years, they moved in the same social circles and had shared interests in the university’s radio station, newspaper and magazine.

Russell Alford and Patrick Hanlon - The Gastrogays

They have taken those interests and developed them into careers. What started out as the GastroGays in 2013 has become a full time job which involves writing for national and international publications, consulting with brands and hosting the popular Chew the Fat podcast.

“We've been there to lean on one another and lift each other up the entire way,” says Patrick. “It hasn't been easy. When the lines are blurred as they are in our lives we have to constantly remind ourselves to set barriers. We've learned how to take hats on and off, so when we're working on a project and being critical of one another, we know to compartmentalise that as a co-worker and colleague seeing potential to improve, rather than as a boyfriend being critical for the sake of it.” Early on in their relationship, Patrick and Russell committed to each other and their business and though they say they have had “many mini failures over the years” they have always put their relationship first.

“We're lucky that we love what we do,” says Russell. “So even though we're always together working, most of the time it doesn't feel like work. Most people would say they'd love to be able to see and share experiences with their best friend everyday, and we're lucky that we've gotten to do that. We're each other's biggest champions, simple as.”