Colman Noctor: Stop expecting your teen to behave like an adult 

Young people between the age of 12 and 18 do not want to be adults -  they want to be teenagers

Picture: iStock 

A recent poll found that 75% of parents think the most challenging years to raise a child are between 13 and 19 years. A third of the 1,000 parents in Britain surveyed said they felt “unprepared” for parenting teenagers. Coping with adolescent mood swings was the most stressful aspect, they said. A further 32% said they found it difficult to help their teens through the anxiety of exams.

I often hear similar concerns in my practice. Most of the young people I treat are in the teenage bracket. To understand what is happening at home, I often start by asking about their relationship with their parents and frequently follow up separately with their parents. These early discussions usually involve a parent telling me how their teenager’s behaviour is problematic, and they want me to make them ‘less difficult’. Conversely, the conversation with the teenager reveals they believe their parents are being unreasonable, and they want me to help make them ‘less difficult’ too.