Top tips every parent needs to read before their child starts secondary school
Many teens are off to secondary school for the first time in the next few weeks
It's the end of an era when your child leaves primary school. Your life and support network have been intertwined within a community that's always at the end of the phone — if not a WhatsApp group — but a lot changes when it's time to move on to secondary school.
Some of that network moves on with you, but a lot of it won't. And discovering the best ways to tackle secondary — and all the difficulties that can come with it — is often tricky. Arm yourself with these tips and you should breeze through.
Smiggle might rule the school at primary, but once they're 11, Stabilo pens, Sharpies, and highlighters are top of the lust list. Pencil cases should be sleek and cool, and funky organisers and pads make the whole experience feel fresh.
School canteens can be a lifesaver if there's one in you child's secondary school, but they can also be expensive. When the budget gets blown on chocolate or other treats, you might want to re-think and stick to good old packed lunches. Quick and easy foods are a winner — think wraps, pasta, corn cakes and houmous, with fruit and veg sides.
Once they're starting secondary, everything seems to cost quite a bit more — the fancy stationery, the school bag, the uniform. To avoid pouring all that money down the drain, be sure to label everything, so you can claim it back if (when) it gets misplaced. You can buy name labels and stamps which don't wash out, stickers which genuinely stay put, or even grab a good old Sharpie and write on the labels.

Water bottles seem to be something every child loves to collect. They probably won't need a new one, but as this is a move to big school, it is nice to start afresh, with a grown-up bottle and lunchbox. Opt for recycled plastic if possible — and get ones that are dishwasher-proof and leak-proof.
We've all learned the hard way that homeschooling on shared tech is somewhat problematic. The good news, however, is that live lessons are a breeze at secondary school — and it's even handier if they have their own computer. And, of course, there's the mobile phone. If they don't already have one, secondary school is the time most children get a phone.
When your child makes new friends, it's much harder to get to know their parents. Lots of kids make their own way to school, and they have a phone to organise their own socials. This can feel a little bit worrying when your son or daughter is talking about going to a sleepover and you've never even met the child whose house they are staying at, let alone their mum or dad. Undoubtedly, this will get harder. You will be an embarrassing and interfering parent, so before they reach the Kevin The Teenager stage, try to get parents' numbers, invite kids to your house, ask their mum or dad in when they come to pick them up — it can really help to reassure you.
There will be friendship issues. They're adolescents, everything's going crazy in their brains and bodies right now, so just accept there will be some tricky times ahead. It can seem sensible not to get involved and let them sort out their own issues, and sometimes that works, but other times, simply listening, talking stuff through, and discussing problems with your child and their friends openly and honestly can be more helpful. Always try to make yourself available for listening — you'll be thankful you did.

Self-care is something we seem to hear about constantly now, but that's because it's important. Bringing up teenagers and guiding them through adolescence is a really tough job. Make sure you plan stuff in for you. Date nights, catch-ups with friends, an hour to read a book, a weekly exercise class — whatever it is that will make you happy, do it. Every day if at all possible, but definitely at least once a week.

