Sex File: I find my mind wanders during sex 

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I've always enjoyed good regular sex with my wife, but recently I have found it hard to keep my focus. I find my mind wandering to work, money and other anxieties. I know she notices because now she will make a point of trying to hold eye contact and be very "present" together. Is there a way to be more in the moment and shut my brain off?

Unfortunately, we are living through some worrying and unsexy times. Everyone is distracted and jaded and feeling uncertain about what the future holds, so it is not surprising that some of that anxiety is bubbling its way to the surface during sex. When you feel stressed, being "present" to anything is easier said than done and, ironically, the more you try to relax, the harder it becomes to switch off. Because sex and sexual arousal are largely automatic responses, they don't require a huge amount of mental attention. Ordinarily, that cognitive vacuum is a really pleasurable part of the sexual release, but if you are anxious, your racing brain hijacks your body, and instead of focusing on sensation, you find yourself swatting away a million different worries.