Colm O'Regan: For all their faults, we still cleave to sayings that have lasted hundreds of years

You would wonder about the so-called bardic geniuses who came up with these seanfhocail. It feels like it was just lads sitting on ditches watching everyone go by

Colm O'Regan: 'Generally, if you’re a woman in proverbs, you don’t fare well. Cashman and Gaffney’s book lists numerous women to be wary of or things that are generally their fault. There is also a suspicion of cats, clergy and the Devil.'

It mightn’t seem like it now, but spring is on the way. And with it, young women and men’s thoughts turn to one thing: Learning off Irish phrases for the exam.

The air will be blue with the nathanna cainte, the sun splitting the stones, the alarming wind-speed with which you ran, the streets so crowded it was Black With People.

And then there are seanfhocail. The handy way to have a bit of Irish trip off the tongue like a native speaker. The old favourites: Briseann an dúchas trí shúile on chait — the heritage of a cat breaks through the eyes (the father was the same). 

This was muttered darkly at a student who had just misbehaved and it was blamed on breeding. Is minic a briseann béal duine a shrón — it’s often a person's mouth broke their nose.

You wouldn’t really get away with this in education now, to judge a child solely on the behaviour of their relative or just threaten violence. But they will definitely find a place in an essay somewhere.

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The basic thrust of the proverb might seem to be “don’t do that”, “Shut up”, “what could you expect?”, “You can’t trust them”, “I told you it wouldn’t work.” “Women!” But there are lots of variations and subjects.

According to Seamus Cashman and Sean Gaffney’s book of Irish proverbs and sayings, much republished since the late 1970s, there are more than 1,200 of them.

Proverbs are not uniquely Irish. They’re found all over the world.

The oldest known proverb is from 3,800 years ago in Assyria. The king there counselled his son not to rush. He wrote on a clay tablet to his son, “The hasty bitch has produced a blind whelp” or “The dog who is in a hurry gives birth to blind pups”.

Lookit, we’ve all been hasty bitches in our day, but it’s probably illustrative of a fella who doesn’t know how labour and birth work.

Generally, if you’re a woman in proverbs, you don’t fare well. Cashman and Gaffney’s book lists numerous women to be wary of or things that are generally their fault. There is also a suspicion of cats, clergy and the Devil.

There are also 250 triads — even shorter sayings about groups of three, not Chinese gangs. Women of all kinds get a bad rep: slovenly women, red-haired women, young women, old women, widows.

“Three smiles that are worse than sorrow: the smile of the snow as it melts, the smile of your wife on you after another man has been with her,  the grin of a hound ready to leap at you.” Like, give me a chance to talk to her to get her side first. But yes. That dog is lethal.

It makes you wonder about the so-called bardic geniuses who came up with these seanfhocail. It feels like it was just lads sitting on ditches watching everyone go by. The Facebook commenters of their day. With a host of admirers around, liking every miserable thing they said.

For all their faults, we still cleave to sayings. They have a rhythm, and they have lasted for hundreds of years. In PR speak, "they get the cut-through that the agencies would die for". So, I say let’s make new ones for the world we have today, with its dangers and pitfalls.

Colm O'Regan: 'Generally, if you’re a woman in proverbs, you don’t fare well.' File picture: Chani Anderson

For romance — how about: Beware the man with the fish on his Tinder. Or: After the compliments comes the request for Revolut.

Money: The text from the bank is not all that it seems.

A shopping triad: Three things that are not permanent — the logo on a cheap top, the cover of the RTÉ Guide, the balance on a One4All voucher.

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