Colm O'Regan: As part of my Middle-Aged Grand Slam, I'm up to date with a podcast
Comedian and Irish Examiner columnist Colm O'Regan pictured in Cork. Picture: Denis Minihane.
The sense of achievement is palpable. Ducks are lined up. The ship I’m running is tight. All cylinders are operational.
The rest of my life might be quiet chaos but this past while has seen me, in some small areas, on top of things. At the end of July I completed the Middle-Aged Grand Slam: For a brief period, my bins, car tax, car insurance and NCT were all up to date.
Then I submitted an ESB reading and cancelled a direct debit for a landline I haven’t used in three years. I didn’t bask in that glory. I went on to change the clocks in the car AND oven.
And if you’re resting you’re losing, so I kept on going and I can now proudly say I am up to date with a podcast.
It’s no mean feat. The podcast is and they are 480 episodes in. And over the last 10 months I have caught up. 480 hours. 400 if you listen at 1.2 speed. That’s more time than I’ve spent with my children. And sometimes I combine the two activities.
“What are they going to be talking about on now Daddy? asks my youngest looking up from Carmen Sandiego.
“Eh… the scandal-rocked 1970s British Liberal party leader Jeremy...” Oh, on second thoughts maybe this is one to listen to on headphones.
People might scoff at what they see as trivial achievements but in a world of endless TO-DO lists, infinite information and 78 Netflix recommendations, I place a lot of weight on being up to date with ANYTHING.
It has not been a slog. This isn’t a comprehensive review of the podcast. It’s superfluous to review one the most popular podcasts in the world. I am later arriving to the party than Charles d'Albret, the Constable of France was to arriving at the battle of Agincourt.
But it is a testament to Tom Holland and Dominic Sandbrook that having listened to them for the equivalent of approximately three months of 9-5 days, they are impressively NOT annoying.
Yes, they’ll have their catchphrases: “that was a tour de force Tom”, “and on that bombshell” and often referring to things as “woke”, but they are minor. I don’t even hear the word "woke" any more now. It’s like “literally” . It means nothing through overuse.
And if there are any two people better able to do a proper non-annoying History of Woke it’s these two. Because no subject is undoable and no preconceptions are set in stone.
The most notable thing for me was how much I learned about English history. There is no way I would have looked on eight hours combined on the Falklands War and the 1974 British General Election as being a worthwhile use of my time but it was FASCINATING.
It’s the sheer dark humour of the mad things that happen when humans, power, hubris, bad weather, bad luck, weirdness, and drink are all gathered in one spot. (They’ve done a series on Ireland as well, all excellent.)
It’s humbling also to see how much of history is just affected by plans going awry or no plan at all. I happened to be listening to their special on JFK’s assassination on the very day Trump was shot.
It’s so obvious that so many conspiracies are false, not because That’s What They Want You To Think but because sometimes Shit Just Happens and One Mad Person can do a lot.
Now I don’t mean to be rude, but I think they may have dropped another episode on the aftermath of the Battle of Agincourt.
I need to listen soon. I don’t want to fall behind. My Grand Slam title is at stake.
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