Edel Coffey: The imbalances at the heart of the 'stay at home girlfriend' trend on TikTok

In a world where paying your own way and owning your own home gets more and more difficult, swapping your independence for wealth might sound like a fair deal. But there’s a dangerous precedent involved in setting yourself up as a commodity.

Edel Coffey: "Being financially dependent on anyone is not an ideal to aspire to." Picture: Bríd O'Donovan

I was in Dublin recently when I spotted some street art painted on a corrugated shutter. It said in huge lettering: ‘DON’T WISH FOR IT, WORK FOR IT.’ What a positive message, I thought, and took a snap to motivate me when I needed it. So many of us spend so much of our time wishing for things when if we spent the same amount of time working for them we might actually achieve them.

The phrase came to mind again this week as I was reading about the social media trend of the stay-at-home girlfriend. The hashtag #stayathomegirlfriend has more than 200m views on TikTok. If you’re not aware of the trend, it’s exactly what you might imagine — young women promoting their lifestyle choices of being ‘kept’ women. The videos document their lives — domestic chores, making their boyfriend’s dinner, shopping, performing beauty procedures, and going to the gym — as paid for by their rich boyfriends.