Suzanne Harrington: I'm middle-aged, menopausal, hanging out with five-year- olds —how did this happen?

It’s Easter Monday and the Lord may have risen, but right now the idea of lying down in a nice dark cave with a big stone blocking the entrance sounds like heaven. After an Easter of small kids, egg hunts, and gambolling lambs, you might be quite desperate for a bit of sensory deprivation. The deep silence of an empty room. Neurofen for the chocolate hangover.

You may have sensibly thought your days of small kids, egg hunts and gambolling lambs were well and truly over, given how your own kids are now car-driving and pint-drinking (not at the same time) but if you are daft enough to partner up with someone whose fecundity is not dictated by their ovarian shelf life – that is, a man – then it’s perfectly possible to find yourself, middle-aged and menopausal, hanging out with five-year-olds.