Suzanne Harrington: My dog got grass seeds embedded in delicate areas
Now is about the time when you might start thinking about rehoming the lockdown puppy that seemed like such a good idea in the gloomy depths of February. Obviously this will not happen because you are a decent dog owner, but perhaps the idea of selling him on the dark web has been criss-crossing your mind.
Especially now that he is the size of a donkey, but with the IQ of a tennis ball, and has already run up a vet bill that would comfortably pay for a decent holiday – sorry, a what? – by getting spiky grass seeds embedded in his unmentionables. (Which you are saving up to have chopped off, in the hope it will make him less mental. And yes, there are consent issues here, but who consents to giant dog humping their leg?)
