Alison Curtis: How the internet can be a force for good in our children’s lives

Each day, my daughter's knowledge of how to navigate the internet is growing; she is now showing me things

Alison Curtis believes we should approach screen time more positively. Pic: Marc O'Sullivan

RECENTLY on my show we did a piece about the positive side of children using technology. The go-to reaction to this topic seems to be negative. We often talk about ‘too much screen time’, the dangers of online life, and so on, but I wanted to have a discussion about the positive things children can gain from technology literacy.

We have to recognise that children will have an online life: That is inevitable. But how can we help them have a healthy and responsible relationship with technology from an early age?

Most research shows that tablet use for toddlers isn’t advised. However, as children grow there are ways we can engage with them while they are online, so we watch the same thing and have a conversation with them about it afterwards.

Or, as they get a bit older, we can play games with them or get them to show us what they are doing and learning with different apps.

This past 18 months has taught us that families need technology more than ever to work and learn from home. Children of all ages have been on devices more than ever, for school and for online learning as much as for entertainment.

So there has been a shift from talking about how much screen time children are getting daily to examining what they are using their devices for.

So scrolling through YouTube for two hours might not be deemed the best for them, but an hour-long art class would be.

Dr Mary O’Kane, who recently published a book called Perfectly Imperfect Parenting has an excellent chapter on parenting in the digital age. In it, she outlines some excellent rules about the use of technology in the home.

Dr O’Kane suggests an agreed-upon switch-off time in the evenings. I love this idea, as it is planned and, within reason, all family members can have a say on when that time should be. She also suggests that parents set out rules: No phones or tablets in the bedroom, that children share passwords, and that there are no devices at meal times. All of which seem reasonable to me.

One thing I find difficult with my daughter, Joan, is getting her off the tablet without a fight or a meltdown. 

I have struggled with this for years and Dr O’Kane had a top tip for this repeated scenario.

She suggested that you give your child a timed warning, so: five more minutes and the tablet is turned off. But during that five minutes, you sit with them, ask them what it is they are watching, and by doing this you are gradually bringing them back into the real world. So the transition from whatever is going on on the screen to turning it off isn’t so abrupt. I have tried this a few times and it works.

I have also tried, in recent months, to get Joan to find apps and games that involve her more, so she is getting more tech savvy, but also getting more out of using her tablet. One example is that she found an art app and it was great and calming.

Each day, her knowledge of how to navigate the internet is growing; she is now showing me things. I also continually talk to her about reporting her activities to me and about online safety. She has a limited world online, but I want her to feel confident around appropriate online behaviours as she grows and as that world becomes more of her world.