Suzanne Harrington: An Easter miracle! I rolled back the stone from my cave and had a garden party

And lo! As Jesus emerges from lockdown, so too are the frazzled citizens of Brexitland blearily rolling the stones from the front of their caves. Now allowed to mingle outdoors in groups of six, thanks to the miracles of Big Pharma, crucified social lives have risen again, albeit shakily as newly hatched chicks. Sorry about the mixed Easter metaphors, but that’s Easter for you – a mixed bag of bunnies and chocolate and daffodils and eggs and crucifixion torture.

Anyway, with the Rule of Six allowing residents across the Irish Sea some minor outdoor mingling, posh event planners with names like Arabella and Allegra and Araminta having been coming out of the woodwork, advising on how to make this long-awaited six-person event rally, rally spesh. Luxury marquees and table linens, floral centre pieces, place names in gold leaf calligraphy, bone china, polished silverware, crystal outdoor lighting, perhaps a PPE-wrapped butler serving roast swan on a bed of orchids on the sweeping lawns of gracious gardens. Maybe a socially distanced string quartet.