The only location for a brooding farmer

New year, new you! 
The only location for a brooding farmer

Seeing himself as a latter day Miley Byrne (above, in Glenroe) or as Pat Barry in Bracken, (played respectively by Mick Lally and Gabriel Byrne), Denis must become a Wicklow farmer as the first step.

At this time of the year,
fellows begin to struggle with their New Year resolutions.

Those early January plans of cutting back on booze, burgers and fags are now probably in disarray.

Well, never a man to put his mouth where his money is, I have kept quiet from the very beginning about my New Year plans.

I didn’t want to alarm you, or make you feel inadequate.

For my New Year plan will blow all others out of the water. And it’s a resolution I intend to keep.

Today, I can reveal all.

Have you ever heard of a chap they call Chris de Burgh?

I’m sure you have heard him belting out ‘Lady in Red’ on the radio, over the years.

It’s a classic. Like Richie Kavanagh’s ‘Aon Focal Eile’, only not as catchy.

Anyhow, the reason I bring up the singer today (Chris de Burgh, not Richie Kavanagh) is because he has put his place up for sale, and my aim for this coming year is to buy it.

Or at least, put a right strong bid on the plot,
located in Wicklow, with a nice tract of land going with it.

I’ve been interested in de Burgh’s place since it first appeared on the market.

Having long been a big fan of Irish rural soaps, like Glenroe which was set in Wicklow, and its predecessor Bracken also set in Wicklow.

I have for many years seen myself as a latter day Miley Byrne, or even Gabriel Byrne.

The only thing getting in the way, was that I lived down here in Co Cork and not Co Wicklow.

Well, a chance has come to change all that now, and for me to become the brooding Co Wicklow farmer I have always wanted to be.

Truth be told, I would give my hind teeth for one chance to live out my dream.

So let me tell you about the place.

Well, for starters, it lies on 27 acres, which isn’t a lot of land, but is enough for me to do my brooding.

I see myself running a few mountain ewes over the land, when the funds become available.

Better again, Chris is throwing in the house along with the land, and a fine square building it is too.

The asking price of €12.5m is a bit saucy for the common man, but I have been crunching the numbers over the past few weeks and I feel, with a little trimming here and there, a gentleman’s agreement might be reached so that I could pay for it “on the long finger”.

I feel I could easily come up with an offer that would not only be agreeable to
myself, but to Mr de Burgh also.

Chris is willing to throw in the furniture too, if the right buyer comes along, and I am surely such a fellow.

So no need then for a tiresome trip to Ikea.

I can hit the Wicklow ground running.

Of course it will be sad to see the back of Co Cork, but I promise I’ll continue writing for this paper.

The only difference being, it will be from Chris de Burgh’s bed, and not my own, that the inspiration will come.

So until we meet again, I wish you all well.

Co Wicklow farmland beckons.

“Well, Holy God.”

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