Best in show follows an unusual pattern

If you know what the inside of a confessional box smells like, when the door clicks closed behind you, and if you often go to Sunday Mass, and if you are amongst the countless thousands of hopefuls who compete at the scores of agricultural shows annually, always with confidence and high hopes, stop reading this article now, and go to another page.

This advice applies equally to male and female competitors and exhibitors right across all the show classes, and I issue it out of pure kindness.

Indeed, please, if you know the aromatics of the interiors of confessional boxes since childhood, then instantly leave here for your own peace of mind, or you are almost certain to be either hurt or shocked, or both.