Cormac MacConnell: Between rock and a hard place in Clare

I am filled with fear and concern, because the non-elected real bosses of the Clare County Council, who control my life nowadays, seem to have lost the plot altogether.

They are hell bent on pursuing a plan which will effectively double the mortality rate in the lovely Banner County before the end of the year.

There is the horrific pure truth, yet again.

I am glad to state that I am not alone in my fear and concern about the proposals of the Council’s bosses.

Even the Irish Association of Funeral Directors, the seasoned professionals of mortality rates in Clare and elsewhere, have strongly voiced their concern about the Council plan to insist that all of us who shuffle off the mortal coil anytime soon will have to be buried not the traditional six feet deep, but a whopping eight feet deep.

The undertakers, to give them their traditional title, have described the proposals as unworkable in the extreme, and have stated bluntly that the eight feet stipulation very directly puts the vital lives of their gravediggers at risk, should there be a likely outbreak of cave-ins and grave collapses, when the diggers are way down deep.

They have also stated that there are very many rural graveyards, the ancient and serene ones, into which it is impossible to drive a mechanical digger.

And what has been the official response to the undertakers’ genuine concerns?

They have been told directly that not alone will a grave which is not eight feet deep attract an immediate punitive fine of no less than €1,905, but there will be an additional daily fine of no less than €127 for as long as no remedial further digging is undertaken.

The shocking truth, again.

I am terrified that I might be called up Above, before the Council comes to its senses, because I do not wish to be the cause of the death of a couple of decent gravediggers doing their duty. Also, I do not wish to have my grieving family beggared by the fines burden, if my last resting place fails to reach the depth limit.

And there is a bleak background above and beyond the current furore.

Those many amongst you who know Co Clare fully understand what the Council bosses have ignored, the matter of the county’s geography and geology.

There are huge regions of Clare, especially in the unique rock lands of the Burren, and long reaches of West Clare too, where the soil cover is so thin that it would take a ton of TNT, and great skill, to create a hole that is eight feet deep, for any purpose at all.

The wise undertakers in these regions have told the Council that, under all the circumstances, graves which are six feet deep or even six inches less should be acceptable. There is no evidence that they are being heard though.

I did a little research earlier this week, and was even more shocked by my discoveries.

Ye will scarcely believe this. You see, the population of all the counties in the West is ageing fast, and this is creating a coping problem for the Council.

Even before they manage to wipe out those poor, brave gravediggers, the situation is that almost all the existing rural cemeteries are full to capacity, and they cannot easily buy new ones.

So, believe it or not, the ongoing plan, if it comes to fruition, is to commence two-storey burials in the one plot. One poor soul will be eight feet down and the next family member will arrive atop him or her when the next funeral occurs.

The mind shudders and boggles at the mere thought.

It gets even more frightening than that.

It is another fact of life (and death) in Clare today, that a number of truly wise and far-sighted individuals in the Shannon area have been seeking permission from the Council for years now to establish a crematorium in the county.

Despite the pressure on the overflowing cemeteries, that permission has not been granted, and there is little evidence to date that it will happen soon.

The situation is that for the growing number of frightened souls... like myself... who have decided on cremation at journey’s end, rather than going eight feet deep, there is no crematorium at all in the West, and one has to head for either Cork or Dublin and not be able, as a final communal act, to support a local industry.

I am quite sad about that too.

It is a truly grave situation, indeed.