Hello stone ditch, goodbye jeep
Last week, I really had to admire the strength of the Irish ditch, or at least one in particular right here in my own townland.
You see, my beloved Hilux slammed off a stone ditch, and the impact didn’t knock a shake out of the ditch.
I was pulling my beloved jeep up the lane Thursday morning, after the battery had gone flat.
The night before, I had neglectfully left the lights on.
I was a fool, of course. But sure aren’t we are all fools from time to time?
Anyway, while the Hilux might well be the greatest vehicle ever invented, it is not immune to failures in the battery department.
The battery in a Hilux is not immortal.
So, there I was, in the tractor, pulling the unmanned Hilux up the lane, in order to get a good run off the slope.
Half way up the lane, the rope which had worked so magnificently up to that point, decided it would be great craic if it broke in two.
The resulting snap left me seated helplessly on my tractor while my unmanned Hilux started a trip down the lane that would take it to the bottom and to a sturdy stone ditch.
There was little I could do but gasp in horror, as my jeep gained in speed. The resulting smash was severe. In fairness to the Hilux, even when crashing, it does it in style.
In a similar way that an unmanned space craft might crash land onto the surface of the moon, the jeep bounced majestically off the ditch when contact was made.
However great the Hilux may be, it was no match for the Irish stone ditch. The ditch won hands down.
The Hilux bumper took the burden of the impact.
It bent inward to within a inch of the radiator. There were other bends, cracks and bumps created, too numerous to mention.
That afternoon, I took out the major defects with a heavy hammer. Of course, a little more tender treatment will be needed to get the jeep back to normal, and so that is why my Hilux is now in a place where smaller hammers used with greater expertise are at hand.
But going back to the ditch.
You really would have to admire the Irish ditch. It stood up so magnificently when faced with the might of Japanese ingenuity.
And how quick many farmers are in ridding themselves of these ditches, thinking they are nothing but an inconvenience. How foolish they are.
I have often noticed that the farmer will focus all his might on the destruction of ditches, particularly when taking over ownership of a farm.
Like a raggy tomcat scenting new ground, the man can be hell bent on leaving his mark. And his mark is very often the burial of fine old sturdy stone ditches.
During wet and windy weather, isn’t it the ditch that can offer great sanctuary for livestock?
And during very hot weather, doesn’t a ditch provide great shade for the same beasts?
Indeed, the shady side of a ditch is a well-known spot where dreamers and those of an imaginative disposition can find great inspiration.
So let’s not be too hard on the ditch. Before we pull them asunder, let us pause for a moment. They are things of great beauty and, as I discovered last week, things of great strength also.
