Boy racers could be just the answer for rural residents
The circular wheel spin at the cross roads, or the doughnut, as the youngsters like to call them.
And I thought to myself., how unfair life was. You see, I suspected the wheelie was done by a boy racer as he was taking a pensioner home from the pub.
If you recall, a few weeks back, the mayor of Killarney suggested that boy racers contribute more to the community in which they live. And in what way did he suggest they contribute? Did he ask them to cop on, to slow down, and to stop behaving like apes behind the wheel? No, not exactly. He called on boy racers to drive old fogies home from the pub. And from bingo as well, if the gambling mood was on the old timer.
With no rural transport scheme worth a toss, ‘twas the daring political statement to make.
Indeed, besides Danny Healy Rae’s intriguing proposal a few months back, that we here in rural Ireland be allowed to drink a little before getting behind the wheel of a car, the mayor’s proposal has been the only rural transport plan making the news. So far dues to you Mr Mayor, at least someone is thinking about us here in rural Ireland. You are doing a lot more than many others.
I presume every golden oldie in the parish now has a boy racer at their beck and call.
A youngster in a suspension-free, low-bearing, bucket-seated car, ready and willing to take them on high speed trips whenever the need arises. The pensioners must be delirious with joy. They must be ecstatic with delight as they are taken along the byways of Ireland with tyres spinning and dust flying.
But what about the rest of us, I cry? What about fellows like me, who go for a few pints just like the pensioners, and who also need to get home again? Where is my boy racer? The scheme as suggested by the mayor is in some ways totally unjust and unfair. Why should old codgers be the only ones to get the spin, and us younger men go without? Do we not all drink from the same glass? It seems to me that it’s one law for the old man and another for the young man. It’s nothing short of discrimination.
Not every man around these parts is lucky enough to be old. Some of us are far from it. I’m a good 20 years and more from my pension. Am I to believe that I must now keep drinking until the year 2035, before I am to get the all important spin home from the boy racer? Sure that won’t work at all, because by then the boy racer will be anything but a boy. He will be a grown man himself.
He will have responsibilities of his own. He won’t want to be carting the likes of me home from the pub, and he having a wife and family to support. It would be most unfair to be calling on him at that stage.
No. The time to move is now. So I’m calling on the Mayor of Killarney to revisit his proposal and open up the scheme so that the boy racer will also be willing to cart people in my age bracket.
The novel idea from the mayor, while heading along the right road, simply doesn’t go far enough.
