Santa says we’re keeping Ireland off scrap heap

I MET Santa Claus recently, and had a right good talk with the man. I had been out with my family, doing a bit of Christmas shopping, when we had spotted his glittery grotto.

So we decided to join the queue, and in due course we got our audience with Santa. I’m glad to report that all six children were enthralled by his every word, he was a big hit all round. Anyway, Santa struck up a conversation with me. Correctly sizing me up as an intelligent sort of fellow, he inquired as to the state of the nation.

“To be honest with you, Santa,” says I “it’s in an awful mess, and I am very surprised to see you in Ireland this year. I thought you’d avoid us like the plague.”