CHRISTMAS isn’t just about fighting with your family over reheated Brussels sprouts, nor about which one of you is the most useless — no, it is a time of giving, including giving your relationship a long, hard stare, if your other half gives you the wrong present.

YOU won’t be getting anything Christmassy out of me this week, because I’m nonplussed by the news that feeding your baby and having a wee are one and the same. 

I was just starting to slightly get over the whole idea of Christmas – reasoning to myself in soothing tones that really, it’s not that bad, is it?

An unlikely link between the museums of South Kensington and the protests in the US city of Ferguson has been revealed.

JENNIFER CRAMBLETT and her partner live in Uniontown, Stark County, Ohio. Farming country. 

My favourite ever definition of humanity is “a successful virus clinging to a speck of mud suspended in endless nothing”. 

THE film director John Waters – Baltimore’s beloved Pope of Trash, with his pencil thin moustache and fine eye for comedic sleaze – is a massive bibliophile.

Given the recent hoo-ha about a swingers gathering in a well known Cork hotel, I feel it my duty to share some knowledge. (I know – Cork and swingers in the same sentence. Oh how Ireland has changed since I last lived there. Back then, you couldn’t even buy a condom).

A man called Brian Somethingorother has written something or other called How To Meet Women On The Subway. A manual on how to bother commuters in possession of vaginas? A dating guide to harrassment?

So have seen Gone Girl yet? Lots of us have already read the book.