I’m off to Glastonbury. Not as a punter, or a journalist — but as a volunteer.

“Just don’t think about it,” my daughter says.She says that if she allowed herself to think about the state of the world and all that’s happening in it, she would go mad

"The poor rich kids grow up with attachment issues, substance issues, narcissistic issues — all the issues. So while the neglect isn’t untreated nits or Pot Noodle for dinner, it can still involve depression, anxiety, and addiction — just with chauffeurs and maids."

"It’s like watching a terrible time-travel movie, where ordinary people are being dragged backwards to an era long consigned to the history books."

Depp emerged from the wreckage with nothing more than superficial bruising, while Heard — whom the UK legal system originally believed — was crushed and mangled

"The belief system within the Trump cult, noisily propagated by his own ALL CAPS OUTRAGE, is that he is the ongoing victim of a conspiracy to silence him. He is a victim, and his followers are victims."

The Eurovision has an honourable history of being the gayest, campest, most trans-friendly event ever on international TV, even as it is beamed into homes in countries where LGBTQIA+ rights are decidedly compromised

"Walkers are doing King Prawn Cocktail and Regal Lamb & Mint – let them eat crisps – while one of Charles’ estates, Highgrove, is doing Fortnum & Mason Queen Consort Honey – yes, Camilla honey, no laughing at the back – for £40 a jar."

"...delighted to distract from the big stuff – climate crisis, late capitalism plundering our lives, the price of cheese – by pitting a tiny marginalised minority against intransigent TERF ideology."

"Did you find yourself Googling a bit frantically about tongues and Tibetans, to see if there might be a reasonable explanation, rather than everyone’s favourite Buddhist having taken leave of his senses, or worse? Me too."