Mediation beats adversarial at resolving workplace disputes

Mediators are helping minimise conflict in the workplace, family farm, inter-agency, medical issues as well as marital discord

Ber Barry Murray, RoundTable Mediation, Investigation & Training, and president designate of the Mediators' Institute of Ireland. Picture: Diane Cusack

Mediation is increasingly being seen as a more productive and less costly route than the adversarial approach to resolving disputes across everything from business to marriage.

One hugely respected advocate of mediation is Ber Barry Murray, a director of RoundTable, a mediation, investigation and training consultancy with offices in Dublin and Cork.

The Cork native will take up the position of president of the Mediators' Institute of Ireland later this year. She has established a reputation as one of the State’s most advanced and perceptive mediators.

Ber is passionate about the rise and rise of mediation and how it can complement and contrast with traditional dispute resolution processes.

Why Mediation?

Ber Barry Murray: “Because we need a system that provides an alternative to an adversarial system. We need a system that encourages people to attempt to resolve an issue without taking a legal position. Mediation does that and its role and value in providing that option is specifically recognised since 1986 by the Judicial Separation Legislation where solicitors must advise their clients of the option in family proceedings.

“We discourage any perception of mediation as an ‘alternative’ to legal process; it’s not an ‘either/or’ Many of my clients are actually referred to me by solicitors and the Mediators’ Institute welcomes members from the legal profession – In fact, it was while I was studying law at UCC that I first discovered mediation.

“The usual sequence is that couples engage in mediation and they bring their mediation agreement to their solicitors who will incorporate it into formal legal documentation for divorce or judicial separation. Where couples who come to mediation, without engaging solicitors, mediators are obliged, under the Mediation Act and the MII Code of Ethics, to advise them that they are free to get legal advice. Some couples will choose mediation, some will choose solicitors, some will choose both and others will choose neither. The system does not set these options up in opposition to each other and, certainly, the Mediators’ Institute works consciously alongside and within an overarching legal system while maintaining our autonomy.” 

Is ‘Grey Divorce’ on the rise?

Ber: “The ‘Grey Divorce’ phenomenon is something that anyone involved in the field of family mediation and couple dispute resolution will be familiar with. No one who has been working in our sector could be unaware of the rise in the number of middle-aged and older couples now seeking the framework that allows for amicable or agreed separation.

“I’m not going to go into any specifics, but there’s little doubt that this must be related to much greater life expectancy and the cultural shift around the ’60-is-the-new-50’ syndrome. I think that both men and women are increasingly comfortable with the idea that getting to that age, and with the kids doing their own thing, can mean a life re-evaluation and a decision to close one chapter and start another. Mediation doesn’t take a position on this per se.

“I would never indulge in general categorisations; I’ve been involved in enough family mediation to know that while there may be recurring themes, there are always individual aspects. Our role in these circumstances is to mediate between the parties and help them to reach an agreed solution in a manner that is as collaborative as possible.

“As a matter of fact, I would feel that professional obligation even more keenly where I’m mediating between a couple who are separating after 30-odd years of marriage. There may be an external factor, or it may simply be a mutual feeling that their couple's relationship has ended, but my experience is that professional and proper mediation greatly helps the process towards an agreed solution.” 

Do the same mediation skills transfer to other areas?

Ber: “There is specific training around family (separating couples) mediation; I provide the MII accredited Separating Couples training and it is one of my specialties. But that’s the benefit of mediation and negotiated dispute resolution: it’s a way of thinking; it’s an approach and skill-set that is – I think – completely applicable to other areas of disputes.

“We can work in social, legal, familial, cultural, and economic settings. I’ve worked and mediated in family farm disputes, employment disputes, medical issues, and inter-agency matters. We strive to keep our professional training at the highest levels possible and we encourage members to seek Advanced accreditation.

“This is serious and challenging work and for those practicing as family mediators with separating couples, they must have reached the appropriate levels of expertise. As mediators, our aim is to provide the best service for couples who are going through difficult situations in their lives.” 

Does that make it sound daunting and formal?

Ber: “Well, I think that’s an interesting dynamic within mediation. The application of it is not formal and we engage collaboratively with those who use mediation. The practice and principles of mediation are serious and sober and not at all ‘off-the-cuff’. I feel it gets its momentum and capacity to work precisely through that combination of informal approach and formal training. I suspect that the clients pick up on that and recognise the opportunity it gives them.”