Suzanne Harrington: The most wonderful time of the year...

Ahhh, Christmas with teenagers. You’d think, would you not, that the pressure would have eased a bit. That after years of performative shenanigans involving forensically accurate boot prints, scattered mince pie crumbs, stockings, and presents and dragging ridiculous trees from the car, then battling to get them upright indoors, that you could put your feet up. Relax a bit, let the whole thing wash over you without having to get too involved. You’d be wrong. It’s business as usual — at least from you, the Christmas machine.

They, the feckless ingrates, will retain the agenda of busy teens about town, and the expectations of sugar-addled toddlers in Santa’s grotto. They will want to have their festive cake and eat it — but not to bake it, or clear up after it. Oh no.