Sex file: I wish hairy boyfriend would trim his nether regions

My boyfriend is naturally very hirsute. I find it sexy on his chest, but wish he was a bit more sculpted down there. Is that something I can request? I wouldn’t like it if he asked me to wax.

It is perfectly acceptable to ask your boyfriend to trim his nether regions. You are not saying you don’t worship his hirsuteness. Nor are you demanding that he wax it all off. You are simply asking him to do a little tidy-up. Unless he has strong views about pubic grooming, I doubt he will take offence, especially if you explain that it will have some super-sexy benefits for him. Oral sex is a lot more appealing when someone is manicured. Men often like it because it makes them look and feel bigger too.

His’n’hers trimming can actually be a very sweet and intimate thing to do with a partner, but it requires a degree of trust that might take time to build. First time round he will probably want to do the deed himself. Men tend to be fairly reluctant to let anyone, even a sexual partner, put a sharp blade near their most sensitive area — I’m sure you would feel similarly anxious.

If he wants to do the grooming himself at home, make sure he knows what he is doing. A 2017 study carried out by the urologist Matthew D Truesdale at the University of California, found that 24% of men who engaged in pubic grooming had lacerated themselves. Reassuringly for your boyfriend, most of the injuries occurred in men who took all their hair off, so he should be OK.

The optimum length for your boyfriend’s pubic hair is about a quarter of an inch because his hair will still look thick, but it will also look groomed. He should use small, sharp nail scissors, and he may want to use a comb as well. The easiest and safest way for him to trim is to sit on the toilet. This minimises the risk of anything sensitive getting nicked by accident. Bathrooms are generally well lit too, which is important.

The metal of the scissors should never come into contact with his skin, so ideally he should comb the hair through first, then leave the comb next to the skin and only cut the hair that is proud of the comb’s teeth.

Neatly trimmed pubic hair is easier to keep clean and makes the male erection look bigger. It has become so mainstream that it even has a name: manscaping. In Truesdale’s study 66.5% of men reported that they had tried pubic grooming.

Inevitably, growing demand has created a new market for male grooming apparatus. It was kick-started in 2006 with a brilliantly funny digital campaign for the Philips Norelco Bodygroom shaver for men, which is still a good option for those who want to go all the way. However, they can trim long as well as short, and importantly they come with protective guards, which limit the chance of injury.

If it turns out that he enjoys the look of manscaping, it might make a nice Valentine’s gift.

Send your queries to

More in this Section

5 of the best wellbeing podcasts to give you a boost

Ask a counsellor: ‘Will I ever get over being raped as a teenager?’

8 things gardeners can do to help alleviate the insect crisis

All the backstage tips for getting the edgy hairstyle from Richard Quinn’s catwalk

Latest Showbiz

Queer Eye star on Lagerfeld: He was sometimes mean but he can be forgiven

Burberry apologises for ‘noose’ hoodie after model speaks out

Karl Lagerfeld made his cat Choupette a social media sensation

Love Island's Eyal Booker: ‘Being in the gym is a form of meditation for me’

More From The Irish Examiner