Crumlin crumbles against Kean’s lean mean team

CORK’S northside has another football manager hero — and his name is Keano.

Celebrity solicitor Gerald Kean guided Mayfield GAA intermediate football team — based just the kick of a ball from where Sunderland boss Roy Keane grew up — to an impressive victory yesterday over a Crumlin outfit, managed by model Glenda Gilson, in the first match in RTÉ’s Celebrity Bainisteoir series.

The suited Mayfield men arrived at their home ground aboard a luxury coach having spent the previous night ensconced in the magnificent five-star Castlemartyr Capella hotel.

With their stomachs full of a specially prepared breakfast of pasta and scrambled eggs, they took to the field as the record 3,000-strong crowd cheered “Keano, Keano”.

Immune to the freezing conditions, Ms Gilson wore black high-heel boots, tight cream jeans and a cropped cream top which revealed her tanned stomach. And not sight nor sign of a goose bump.

But then she has posed in everything from a mini to a bikini on O’Connell Street in winter.

Kean opted for a tracksuit and football boots and paced with menace. Cameras followed their every move. His girlfriend, Lisa Murphy, watched from behind large sunglasses in the stand behind, her 08 Bentley parked nearby, her large black Versace handbag at deputy lord mayor Tim Brosnan’s feet.

Ms Murphy was as passionate as everybody else in the partisan crowd as the game began. Tensions on the field were high and hefty tackles flew in from both sides.

There was a minor punch-up within 30 seconds of the throw-in and referee Jer Lynch had three names in his book inside 15 minutes.

Then came the turning point. Crumlin’s number 12, Stephen Dunne, was sent off on 17 minutes after his second bookable offence. Gilson patted him on the head as he sat dejected on the bench.

Despite being a man down, Crumlin went in just a point down at half-time — five points to four.

“You’re a point down, and a man down with half an hour left. You’re playing better football than they are. If you want it, then take it, it’s there for you,” Ms Gilson roared.

Kean, stuffing Jaffa cakes into his mouth, told his team to use the extra man.

“Keep your discipline and use the extra man. You’re a credit to the Mayfield jersey,” he said.

Despite going two points down inside the first 10 minutes of the second half, the Mayfield half backs began to dominate.

Then the team, which had diets prepared by Everton FC, a motivational speech by Celtic boss Gordon Strachan, goal-keeping sessions with Newcastle’s Shay Given and a pre-match night in the Capella — all paid for by Kean — really began to motor.

With five minutes to go, pint-sized powerhouse substitute Patrick “Pudsy” Duggan ran at the heart of the Crumlin defence and drew a foul. The free was slotted over, before Stephen Byrne added another.

Kean lit a Havana cigar on the sideline as Paul Scannell scored again to leave Mayfield 12 points to seven ahead.

Tempers flared again in the dying minutes but officials stepped in before the final whistle blew.

A jubilant Kean kissed Ms Gilson on the cheek, and jokingly offered her directions back to Dublin.

He slated some refereeing decisions but said the team’s preparation was crucial.

“There was a lot of pressure on them today. If they had lost the match they would have been the butt of jokes all over Munster,” he said. “I’m ready to manage the senior Cork team now that I know it’s not four, three, three, and not 90 minutes,” he joked.

A dejected Ms Gilson, who took her team to the Meteor Awards on Friday, said the sending off cost them the match.

“They did well for one man down. They played well, they did great and we’ll move on,” she said.

Ms Murphy said she broke several nails during the game. “I am shaking all over,” she said. “I was jumping up and down like a lunatic. I got very passionate, all right, it being Ger’s home town.

“But all the guys were fantastic. I’m so proud of them. I think I need a glass of wine after that, no actually a glass of champagne.”

Both teams attended a function in the clubhouse last night. And the “no alcohol, no women and bed by 10pm” rule imposed on Mayfield at the Capella on Saturday night was lifted.

Kean said: “I don’t care tonight. They can have as much alcohol as they want, as many women as they want, and in fact, they can have as many men as they want, too.”

* Celebrity Bainisteoir starts on RTÉ 1 on Sunday, March 23, at 6.30pm.