Please Hillary, make America think again

Perhaps once President Hillary is in power, she can divert serious funding into some serious education projects, so America never again makes another Trump, writes Suzanne Harrington

THE American Psychological Association has been counselling US citizens — 52% of Americans have what the APA is calling ‘election stress’, and what I am calling Post Traumatic Trump Disorder. Having allowed a gold-plated buffoon not only inside the gates but up the garden path towards their whitest of houses, 59% of Republican supporters — and 52% of Democrats — are gibbering wrecks.

Ironically, PTTD is uniting Americans of all ages, races and genders in their distress. Those using social media — 54% — are particularly suffering, as rational people interface with rabid Trumpists. From the elderly to millennials, the election is impacting badly on American serenity — 59% of people over 70 have election stress, as do 56% of 19 to 37 year olds. The ones in the middle aren’t too happy either.

So much so that the APA has issued helpful advice to get people through the next two weeks: “Turn off the newsfeed… take some time for yourself, go for a walk, spend time… doing things that you enjoy.” What would Americans do without such crucial psychiatric intervention?

Well, they’ve let Donald Trump within sniffing distance of highest office, so maybe the APA’s advice might not be quite as daft as it sounds, given the titanic ludicrousness of the overall situation. To recap — an orange reality television star who advocates wall building and pussy grabbing, tax dodging and Muslim banning, has been nominated by a major and formerly credible political party, to run for the most powerful job in the West. His nomination has been as a ‘man of the people’ candidate, despite being a billionaire son of a millionaire father, and having a nylon rodent nesting on his head.

That this entirely American creation has no coherent policies to offer has been a source of excitement to the uneducated voters he professes to love (because they are uneducated and may therefore vote for him) and a source of calamity to everyone else.

At the final debate before voting, the Republican candidate suggested a number of astonishing things: that Hillary is a member of Isis, while foreign policy was reduced to a hypothesis that the current mayhem in Mosul is all about getting Hillary elected. Take heart, bombed and devastated Iraqis — it’s not about you. Oh, and Hillary supports abortion at nine months.

So as November 8 looms over America, remember the sage counsel from its Psychological Association: “Avoid getting into discussions if you think they… will escalate to conflict.” And after the whole hideous mess is over, remember “life will go on”. Perhaps once President Hillary is in power, she can divert serious funding into some serious education projects, so America never again makes another Trump. Please Hillary — make America think again.