The man in the mirror

It seems to be the name on everyone’s lips going into tomorrow’s final of Euro 2012. But it certainly wasn’t on mine immediately after the referee’s whistle in Poznan brought our tournament to a disappointing close two weeks ago. And that’s because, strange as it must sound, I wasn’t actually aware we’d been beaten 2-0 by Italy, with Balotelli getting the second on the stroke of full-time.

By the time his acrobatic volley was hitting the back of the net, I was already in the dressing room having been sent off when Italy were a goal up. And though Tom, one of our security men, tried to gee me up and suggested I go back out onto the pitch after the game, well, let’s just say that I wasn’t in the best of form and stayed where I was.

In fact, I didn’t realise the score until we were almost back at the hotel.

I heard them at the back of the bus talking about “Balotelli’s goal”. I was sitting next to Duffer and I turned to him and went, “Balotelli scored?” And Duffer just laughed at me. That’s how I found out.

I’m disappointed now at my reaction to the sending off but I’m not going to beat myself up over it. We were losing, I was desperate to get the ball back, and, no, I didn’t think it was a foul. Some people reckon I got the second yellow for the foul and some for an arm action that I made but, certainly, when the referee showed the yellow and then produced the red, I lost my head.

In my defence it was just the sheer frustration of the three games finally boiling over.

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly why we didn’t perform as we know we can at the Euros. First and foremost, you’ve got to look at the opposition that we faced. To play three teams in the top 10 in the world is obviously a tall order. But good and all as the opposition in our group were — and the fact Spain and Italy are in tomorrow’s final confirms as much — I could have handled three defeats if we’d actually put it up to them. But we didn’t. To be brutally frank, none of the players could come out of that tournament with our heads held high. Individually and collectively, we just didn’t perform.

The early goals against Croatia and Spain didn’t help, of course. We base our whole game plan around clean sheets because we’re never going to score bundles of goals. The first goal we conceded against Croatia was a killer because that was a game we were capable of getting something out of.

Even if everyone plays nine-out-of-10 against Spain, the chances of getting a result against them are still very slim, but the other two games were ones where you felt we had a chance of picking up points. There were flashes of a real Ireland-type performance in the game against Italy but, overall, we didn’t impose the way we play on the opposition. And so we got found out.

A lot of people are now saying we paid for the way we always play. But I don’t buy into that at all. It would have been ridiculous going into the Euro finals for us to abandon the very game plan that got us there in the first place. Suddenly, we’re supposed to give up on the very thing that brought us success for the first time in 10 years? I don’t think so. What I do accept is that we didn’t play as well as we can play and certainly not as well as we played in some of the qualifying games.

Did the occasion get to us? I don’t think that was it, at least not consciously, although I must admit that I was feeling unusually nervous in the days before the first game. Speaking to my fiancée, Claire, to my mam and dad on the phone and to friends, they’d say things like, ‘Are you okay? You don’t sound like yourself’. And looking back now I can see that I really wasn’t.

But I don’t think that, collectively, nerves can be made an excuse. People are looking for all sorts of reasons for why it went so badly wrong for us but, as a player, the first place you have to look is in the mirror. You can’t lay the blame at anyone else’s door. I take a little bit of comfort from the fact that some people have said I was one of Ireland’s best players but, personally, even though I tried to give everything, I also know I could have played better. In the end, after waiting 10 years and after all the hard work in getting to Poland, probably the only real positive we could take out of the tournament was the amazing atmosphere created by the Irish fans. We’re 4-0 down against Spain and all you can hear for the last 10 minutes is The Fields Of Athenry. That will live with me forever.

I was so knackered by that stage of the game, after putting in a fair old shift running around after Spain’s 17 midfielders, but that sound just made me want to kick on to the end. It sent shivers down my spine.

I got dragged straight into a TV interview 30 seconds after I came off the pitch and I remember what I said: that we’d fallen well short and been beaten by a far superior side. But I also said that the fans were the highlight of the evening and would probably be remembered as one of the highlights of the tournament.

Roy Keane was critical of all that but I’m not going to get involved in a slanging match with him. He was a fantastic player for our country, one of the best midfielders to play the game and I respected him a hell of a lot as a player. He is also entitled to his opinion in his new job. But my thoughts about the fans are as clear now as they were when I spoke with my emotions running high right after the game.

And what they did that night has since been praised worldwide. Supporters aren’t stupid. They know football and they know that when their team has just been put to the sword by one of the greatest football teams the world has seen, that’s not the time to turn on the players and throw out all thoughts of unity and togetherness.

But I’m also sure that if, in the next qualifying campaign, we’re not up to the standards we’ve set in the last few years, then they’ll be quick to voice their anger too — and rightly so.

After such a disappointment, people are now questioning whether Giovanni Trapattoni is still the man for the job. My answer is: yes, without a shadow of a doubt. He has probably been on record himself as saying he might have done some things differently in the tournament but he’s still the only manager who has brought us success in the last 10 years. And people can say I’m biased because he gave me my chance but I genuinely think he’s still the man to bring us forward.

It will be important though, that fresh faces are brought on board, especially if some of the current players decide to retire. My own goal is to continue to fight for my place in the team. I’ll miss the Kazakhstan game through suspension but, before that, I’ll be available for selection for the friendly in Serbia in August. Hopefully, if I’m doing well for my new club Bolton, then that’ll be enough to get me back in the team for the October qualifiers.

But that’s some time away yet.

Right now, things are still a little bit raw and I find myself doing a lot of thinking along the lines of ‘what if this?’ and ‘what if that?’

But soon we’ll have to start looking forward again, make sure we learn from what happened in the Euros and, hopefully, move on and give a good account of ourselves in the World Cup campaign.