Saturday, March 20, 2010
AS the last Democratic primary in 2008 was wrapping up and it became clear Hillary Clinton would not be the party’s presidential nominee, Barack Obama ignored the political analysis of CNN in favour of ESPN on the campaign bus TV.
When he eventually emerged, after watching a documentary on the platinum-plated Lakers-Celtics rivalry of the 1980s, he was inspired to quote the words of the great Magic Johnson: "We don’t cut down the nets for the conference championship," he shrugged, as all around him celebrated victory.
Well yesterday, letting the relative success of St Patrick’s Day with the bookies go straight to my head, I clipped down the nets, turned off the lights and locked up the gymnasium.
Where before, like Obama in the White House, I surrounded myself with the great minds and expertise — for Warren Buffet and Jimmy Carter read Ruby Walsh and Pat Keane — yesterday I decided to trust my instincts.
Because obviously making €46.50 from the turf accountants on Wednesday meant I now had equine instincts.
As you can imagine, reader, it did not start well.
In the Triumph Hurdle at 1.30pm I stuck with Ruby on Advisor with a cheeky €2.50 each way.
Confused, I watched as my old friend failure returned to my threshold.
The impressive Soldatino came in on top, with Barry Geraghty. Not the best start.
But as Brendan Behan observed "every cripple has his own way of walking" and mine was to limp on unaided, blinkers on, and filtering out the white noise of expert opinion.
Rock Noir (picked for the Cork sporting connotations — The Rockies with mentor Roman Polanski wearing the bainisteoir bib on the sideline maybe?) went the way of city hurling on Leeside.
Maybe I should’ve backed Newtownshandrum Noir...
The less said about Tell Masini in the 2.40pm — a tip I was texted by a colleague who was in the pub wearing a Denman T-shirt, admittedly — the better.
But then at last, to our own Larry Bird and Magic Johnson pay-per-view fare. And God knows how my work-mate sat through the Gold Cup next — Denman versus Kauto Star — bedecked in his No 5 paraphernalia in a pub in Waterford.
I like to think someone was wearing a Kauto pullover and another an Imperial Commander cowboy hat.
I boast a long record of underdogism. When Kelly and Roche posters wallpapered kids’ bedrooms in the 80s, I was on the lookout for unglamorous water carrier Martin Earley.
I was the kid who watched Wrestlemania III in a kilt and sporran combo and shouted for bad boy Rowdy Roddy Piper, as Hulk Hogan and Andre ‘The Giant’ took top billing. I voted for Lisbon the first time around.
And yesterday the unfancied outsider took the plaudits, edging the brave Denman while Kauto Star endured a rough day at the office.
So we’re up to €30 and back in the game.
In the 4.00, I had a feeling about Dun Doire with Nina Carberry but it was just indigestion.
The next was a simple pick: Meath All Star. If this horse was to perform like the rough magic of Sean Boylan’s All Star teams of the 80s and early 90s, then we’d have to come back for four or five re-runs — but he’d win in the end.
Unfortunately, this time the Royal-sounding horse failed to take the throne.
And so like Larry Bird, we get out a little battered and with a bad back, but still on top.
The sports editor’s cobwebby wallet is now one €20 note lighter, and unlike most punters this week, the Irish Examiner’s mugs came out on top in our joust with the layers.
Final Score: Mugs 3 Bookies 1
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