Croke Park can’t compete with the Americans in April Fool stakes
The GAA played their part with the announcement of a new fertilisation technique to improve the playing surface at Croke Park.
“We have found that leaving livestock or other animals graze on surfaces used for sporting purposes can help the growth of the pitch and ensure that the surface can help it better withstand frequent usage over the course of a year,”  commented Professor of Horticulture and Agricultural Studies, Dr. Agrii Cultur from Japan.
In fairness, it’s a technique used by many clubs over the years.
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Perhaps somebody sneaked some small print into their contracts, but these days Arsenal players seem willing to help out the club’s media people with all kind of japery and tomfoolery. Today, they rowed in with the London Independent for a weak enough effort in conjunction with sponsors Puma.
"Arsenal and kit manufacturers Puma have unveiled a world first this morning: a special left-footed football known as the Left-Footed evoPOWER Football. The ball has been exclusively designed for Arsenal, and will "increase the accuracy, power and precision of a left-footed player", according to Puma.Santi Cazorla, Mesut Ă–zil, Nacho Monreal and Hector Bellerin, were the first players to test the new football.
"It’s unbelievable!" said the two-footed Cazorla.
It is, alright.
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In Seattle, meanwhile Seahawks linebacker Bruce Irvin was showcasing a quite unique sense of humour by announcing on Twitter he had been arrested for drink-driving.
“Before this hits the media I just wanna apologize to my fans and the@Seahawks organization once again. I made a terrible decision b driving”
“After I had a few drinks. I will do everything to get ur trust back and will become a better person after this.”
“How many of yall thought I was serious ?! Haha April fools!!!”
A gas man.
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The Daily Star reported that Wayne Rooney had suffered the ultimate indignity - and been tattooed with a Liverbird, having lost a bet when he missed a penalty against Liverpool last month.
In a nice touch, The Star revealed Rooney had baulked at having YNWA inscribed on his knuckles.
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More Arsenal antics from The London Evening Standard, who were hoping to trigger some early morning rage among Gooners with the announcement that the club was joining Chelsea to commission a statue of Ashley Cole:
“The statue, designed by award-winning Norwegian sculptor Olaf Lipro will be inspired by the 'half half' scarf, and will see Cole wearing half an Arsenal kit and half a Chelsea kit.
Lipro said: "The brief was that, as Cole is held with such affection by both Arsenal and Chelsea fans, I must find a way of marking his time at both clubs.
"The half half statue is an idea I came up with after seeing fans wearing scarves with two clubs on it."
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The Irish Sun, meanwhile, were only thinking slightly outside the box by suggesting the Isle of Man FA was in talks with the FAI to have a club join the League of Ireland. There were a few punters on Twitter taken in by this one.
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Evidently giddy at their table-topping PRO12 exploits, the Glasgow Warriors lined up for a slice of the action by announcing plans for “a revolutionary new temporary stadium cover for their Scotstoun Stadium.”
“The club have been working closely with Scottish architecture firm Kettle Collective, to develop the radical new system and it will be in place from the start of next season.
"The roof, named the "The Fish Net", can be put over the stadium 48 hours before a match and then removed easily following the game.”
"The stadium roof will be the first of its kind in the world and is an organic form that will enclose the stadium from the elements.”
Yeah, whatever.
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Nobody, however, came close to the triumph pulled off by the BBC Sport Grandstand team in 1989.
This is how it’s done
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