Even ducks drowning as climate change hits sport
Unlike other GAA clubs notifying all and sundry of a long puck which wasn’t to take place, they were the ones sadly announcing the cancellation of their duck race on St Stephen’s Day (S. S. Day now and forever, and barring invasion by the Ruritanians next door, never to be known as Boxing Day).
The rain, incessant for the last few days, was too heavy even for a duck race.
The people of Garryspillane are, at the forefront of a whole new set of challenges facing sport, challenges arising out of the very real problem of climate change.
This is making itself known in all sorts of ways, such as the trouble taken to hold an international conference on the matter a few weeks ago in Paris at which we are told (glass half-full version) that historic steps were taken to address the problem or (glass half-empty) plus ca change.
One argument put forward by big polluters like China and India which is very hard to refute runs along these lines: yes, we’re doing a lot of damage to the atmosphere, but you, the developed nations, have been doing so for decades - aren’t we entitled to do our bit of destruction to give our citizens the same standard of living that your cosseted countries enjoy?
The problem here for what used to be called the First World is that responding with cuts to the carbon footprint is very difficult. For instance, many of the foundation blocks of the modern economy are reliant on huge energy consumption (supposedly clean, modern industries like data storage). Therefore if changes and cuts have to be made, it won’t be in the area of direct economic activity.
What about other areas where changes could be put into effect?
Like sport?
It is striking for this observer that there is never any mention of the vast carbon footprint of, say, an army of sports supporters following their team to an international soccer tournament on the continent of Europe; or of a horde of fans deciding to go to South America for the Olympics.
If the Paris climate change talks were to be held next spring, wouldn’t it be a fine gesture from the French Government to announce a once-off carbon tax of €200 on every person attending the Euro 2016 tournament the following summer?
You probably think that I’d say that simply because I’d prefer to draw the curtains and sand the floors rather than watch one group of obscure eastern Europeans kick another. You’re wrong: I’d prefer to draw and sand, etc., anyway, but that doesn’t alter the simple fact that climate change means change for everybody, and because there is a shading to the situation added by the developed world-developing world tension, some of those changes are going to hurt.
Think of it another way. In 20 years’ time which would be preferable to you: being rationed in the number of hours per day you can drive your car, or paying a tax to go see Bulgaria versus Moldova?
Rory’s vision for winning
They say that back in the fifties, when the best brains in the Soviet Union and America were trying to put people in space, they ran into one small problem: how would a cosmonaut/astronaut write his findings and readings down on paper when upside down in zero-gravity, where ink doesn’t flow?
NASA ran tests, spent millions and eventually devised a pen which would write in zero-gravity.
The Russians gave their men pencils.
I mention this because I see Rory McIlroy has recently moved to improve his golf next season: he has had laser eye surgery because he felt his eyesight had sometimes let him down when reading greens.
“I’ve always felt I struggled reading greens,” McIlroy told several media outlets. “I’ve always struggled with my eyes, especially in the summer with hay fever, when you’re rubbing your eyes and sometimes things would get under the contact lens and so everything becomes blurry . . . It’s just so nice not to have to worry about contact lenses. It has to be a help for putting.”
What I want to know is a) why didn’t he just buy glasses? And b) he’s from Northern Ireland - didn’t he ever hear of Dennis Taylor?
Remembering a Nick’s lion
John Joe Kelly a St Nicks And Glen Rovers legend. May he rest in peace. pic.twitter.com/GXzUidvSUY
— Diarmuid O'Donovan (@Diarmuid59) December 19, 2015
Sad news reached us recently about the passing of John Joe Kelly, a lion of St Nick’s Gaelic football club. John Joe wasn’t well for a while, but he hung in there long enough to see Nick’s sister club, Glen Rovers, win a first county hurling title in 26 years — a title to go with the senior football county championships that Kelly, and others, won back in the sixties.
The story goes that, around that time, a team Nick’s were meeting in the championship got together after training to discuss strategies for the game. One wing-forward was addressed as follows: “You’re on John Joe Kelly. He’s strong and he’s fast, and a very good fielder, so don’t take him on like that. He likes to get up the field and he’s good off his left and his right leg, so watch out for that. He tackles hard and he’s very hard to get away from. Keep that in mind.” There was a lengthy pause.
“ . . . Actually, all I can think of is that he’s a bit short-sighted, so keep quiet when you’re near him and he might forget you’re there.”
Deadspin writing a few wrongs
A final thought, to fit here at the end of my final column of the year. I’ve mentioned before the orthodoxy that the Best American Sportswriting of the Year is the must-own book for press box bores of all stripes, and I’ve also referred to the need to buy the Best American Magazine Writing of the Year as both necessary corrective and an indication that there are other subjects worth considering.
However, the devilish folk at Deadspin.com have now concocted an irresistible list for all sports scribes: their list of the Worst Sportswriting of the Year.
The can’t-read, can’t-not-read duality of this list is based not so much on whether you’re in it or not, but whether you can recognise the tropes and strategies lampooned therein as ones you’re fond of yourself . . .
