Warm, dry and increasingly sunny for most









 



 





How to talk Irish sport in 70 clichés

Friday, February 03, 2012

The cliché is a vital component of any sporting occasion. You could even argue that it’s not actually an occasion at all until at least a few of these have been trotted out.

* 1. There’s plenty of guys putting their hand up for a place in the team this weekend against Wales.

* 2. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.

* 3. It was a savage battle, Marty.

* 4. Game on, Ger.

* 5. I got in the turnstile with a man.

* 6. He’s never under-16!

* 7. Any tips for the 2.40?

* 8. He’s still running.

* 9. What time’s the second game on?

* 10. Just leave it in to the big fella for shite’s sake!

* 11. Bring your boots on Sunday.

* 12. We need more go-forward ball, Tom.

* 13. Game on now, Ger.

* 14. Oh no! They’re showing the Northern Ireland Match of the Day tonight!

* 15. They call him Santy in the college, Ger.

* 16. Do you want to hear my Mícheál Ó Muircheartaigh impression?

* 17. Who should play at 13?

* 18. Anyone buying or selling tickets?

* 19. There’s nothing like Thurles on Munster final day.

* 20. The city hurling is gone altogether.

* 21. You can only ride what’s underneath you.

* 22. Did Ted Walsh just say that?

* 23. It’d be great for the game if Dublin won it.

* 24. Hill 16 is Dublin only.

* 25. I cannot stand them jackeens.

* 26. Jerry Kiernan looks like he could still get around handy enough.

* 27. We should go back to winter football.

* 28. Who put the ball in the English net?

* 29. F*** Schillachi.

* 30. Boot it, Lukey.

* 31. Steps!

* 32. You should see his brother, he’s playing minor next year.

* 33. It’ll always be Lansdowne to me anyway.

* 34. What about that on Sunday?

* 35. Where were you last Sunday?

* 36. I heard you were out Saturday night?

* 37. Did you hear what Roy said now?

* 38. Pull hard; he’s no relation.

* 39. He’s some man for one man, is Paulie.

* 40. Heave!

* 41. Go on, warm up, I’m not listening to ye any more.

* 42. I’m not doing this for the good of my head lads, I’m sick of telling ye.

* 43. Go out and enjoy it, lads.

* 44. We’ll head in along after this one, they’ll only be warming up now.

* 45. That’s a stupid question, Bill.

* 46. Come on you Boys in Green.

* 47. Did you get a pass at home for Poland yet?

* 48. He’ll never kick from there.

* 49. In from the side ref!

* 50. What was that penalty for, lads?

* 51. Name the only man to win an All-Ireland medal and a League of Ireland title.

* 52. I saw Bertie at the Shels game.

* 53. Katie’s a dinger isn’t she?

* 54. So explain this Duckworth/Lewis Method once more.

* 55. Turn up Dunphy there, Barry!

* 56. What has Galvin on him at all?

* 57. Will Galway bate Mayo?

* 58. Not if they have Willie Joe.

* 59. See yiz in Coppers.

* 60. You can’t bate a bit of ground hurling.

* 61. Brian suffered a stinger.

* 62. Now for the sport with Evanne.

* 63. I only use Cummins sliotars.

* 64. Phone beeps: "We’re up by two, but against the wind in second half."

* 65. You should’ve seen the six-iron I hit last Sunday.

* 66. I’m never playing that bloody game again.

* 67. Every rugby team needs piano players and piano shifters.

* 68. There’s always next year.

* 69. Check your change around here – you might get an All-Ireland medal in it.

* 70. I don’t know what your man was on about in the paper this week.

Contact: adrianjrussell@gmail.com Twitter: @adrianrussell





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