Sex advice: I don’t want to be celibate for rest of my life

My wife and I have been married for 20 years. She is my best friend and soulmate and I can’t imagine life without her, but we’ve been celibate for 10 years. She says that if it made me happy, she wouldn’t mind if I found another sexual partner. I don’t want to be celibate for the rest of my life, but should I take her at her word?

Most definitely not. After 20 years of marriage you must by now realise that women are contrary, emotional creatures. When a woman asks you “does my bum look big in this?” she doesn’t want to know the answer. She wants you to tell her that you love her, and her bottom, unconditionally and always will.

When she tells you gruffly that something “doesn’t matter”, you can be sure that it does. And when she tells you that “if it would make you happy” it wouldn’t bother her if you had sex with someone else, you can be sure that it would bother her — a lot.