I can’t get over his one-night stand

Q. My husband recently broke down and admitted he had a one-night stand with another woman. I trust him when he says it was a horrible mistake. We have talked it all through and mentally I feel I can move on. However, I have since found it very difficult to be turned on by him. How can I get the attraction back?

A. One-night stands are often opportunistic, but even so it requires a considerable cognitive shift to get from a monogamous mindset to one where it is OK to have sex with someone else. Whether a person blames drugs, alcohol or unhappiness, cheating is a choice, and although your husband claims to have told you everything, brace yourself for the possibility there is another chapter to this story.

Ordinarily, a man who genuinely wants to stay married would conclude that the cost of confessing a single misdemeanour grossly outweighs the benefit.