One year on: Life after that historic yes vote
"Looking back now, I remember the day of the result as a spectacularly happy day. Even the weather played ball. The pictures were sun-drenched and lovely.
"Taking a longer view, though, I did not enjoy the campaign. It was difficult and depressing at times. People were saying horrible things — the ether was full of that, but it all turned out good in the end.
“The result has meant a huge amount to LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) people. After all the dirty laundry had been washed in public, they [the Irish people] said it very clearly — we are actually fine with gay people.
"It meant a huge amount to me. Before that, the Irish people were kind and generous but I was never entirely sure where LGBT people stood.
"The result copper-fastened it and defined where we stood. It was a weight off my shoulders. We could draw a line under that and move on.
“There has been a very noticeable change. People are holding hands in a way they did not before. They feel more confident.
"Before, you might be a little worried that someone would shout out something at a bus stop and that the other people would secretly agree with them, but not now.
“A lot of LGBT people want to get married and we have equality under the law now. Marriage was not something I imagined for myself, but you never know.
"I wouldn’t rule it out. And yet 37% of people voted against. Hearts and minds change slowly and there are still issues.
"There is trouble on the streets — there are still eejits out there, but they are in the minority. However, [the referendum] has made an incredible difference.
"Last week, I was doing my show in Sarajevo and there had been attacks against the gay community there, which is tiny. It reminded me how lucky I am to live here and it made me very proud of the progress we have made since the late 80s.”
Part of that progress is down to Panti’s role as an accidental activist.
The ‘Queen of Ireland’ has just been voted the 29th most influential person in Time magazine’s worldwide Top 100 list, but she’s not letting the result go to her head: “It’s just a bit of fun. I am not taking it seriously. I am 47 and I am doing the things I have always done. The fact that more people are interested now is lovely.”
As the results started to come in, we did a conga in celebration around a table in the Ardilaun Hotel.
As it happened, Terry and I were in Galway with Máire Geoghegan-Quinn, who brought in the legislation de-criminalising homosexuality.”
Michael Murphy plans to marry his civil partner Terry O’Sullivan later this year because he says it’s important to honour those results.
In this extract from his poem A Vote for Love, from his latest poetry collection A Chaplet of Roses, he sums up what the vote means to him.
The people of Ireland have voted for me
A homosexual man
They recognised my place
They set me in a broad street
Irish people brought the new law into being
That I have an equal right
To marry the person of my choice They redeemed the word love in humanity’s constitution…
…They flew from Ghana and Los Angeles
To cast a ballot for their faggot family
From Hong Kong and San Francisco
To demand freedom for their queer friends
I watched the televised map turn green
As the chakra of the heart began to flow
The floodgates of Dublin Castle opened after the vote
And a rainbow of language inundated Dame Street
Men holding hands with men
Women holding hands with women
Men and women holding hands
Lovers out in public walking above ground
… The people of Ireland have voted yes for everyone
They accepted into words what was not spoken
They acknowledged men and women who are Irish and gay
We cast a vote for love
We changed the landscape
We made a space on this tiny isle of saints and scholars
For the world
“I will never forget the conversations I had with people around the country in the run-up to the marriage referendum. It was joyful, inspiring, uplifting.
"On voting day, I rang my husband Paul and said if, at any stage, you need a pick-me-up, look at #hometovote. I started to bawl and he told me to find a quiet room when I got to work and to lie down for 20 minutes.
“We saw the messages that were coming in on social media. I knew we were going to win.
"There was such generosity and humanity in people. It was so rich. I felt validated; I don’t mean as a gay man — I haven’t needed that for many years — but it was so wonderful to be so connected.
“There was an energy around this referendum. People had a stake in it and they were voting for the kind of society they wanted.
“I married Paul five years ago in New York. We’ve been together 17 years but when [Justice Minister] Frances Fitzgerald signed the commencement order [for the Marriage Act 2015 on November 10 last year], she made the marriage legal with the stroke of that pen. We’re an old married couple now.”
For others, O’Gorman recalls, the referendum meant looking out the window and seeing that the two guys up the road had just passed by holding hands.
“They were able to just be who they were. A week before [the vote], they did not feel able to do that.”
Others still had to reveal a huge vulnerability, in essence asking people: ‘Will you give me permission to marry the person I love.’
“It was not exposing for me. I’ve spoken about sexual violence, so it was great to talk about something so positive.”
And it was overwhelmingly positive for the most part.
O’Gorman says his children, Safia, 17, and Seán, 19, talk about same-sex relationships among their friends in exactly the same way that they talk about heterosexual relationships.
“But we still have a way to go. It will take time for what that moment means to filter through. It will undoubtedly have an effect but not overnight. Things are changing, but it’s not the same for everyone, everywhere.”
“The marriage referendum was very, very important to me. I would like to get married and have kids when I meet the right partner, or even on my own. I’m 29 now — and single — but I’ve always had motherly instincts.
“Because I was Rose of Tralee during the campaign, I had to remain apolitical. However, I travelled to over 150 schools around the country during that year and I really focused on my LGBT story so that I could up open the discussion around sexuality and so that people could ask questions.
“I was in Perth for the vote itself and it might be a regret that I will have for the rest of my life that I was not [at the count centre] in Dublin Castle. But it was really special in Perth too.
"I was with a number of Irish gay people who had moved away from Ireland because they never felt comfortable here.
“I see a big change among younger people. They are comfortable talking about their sexuality and that is remarkable.
“I am so glad too for the older generation, people like David Norris and [new TD] Katherine Zappone who have put so much of themselves on the line for this campaign.
“We are the ones in the middle; the forgotten ones. I never had to question whether my parents would accept me. That was true for my younger brother too.
"Mikey is gay — I have two brothers and one sister and 50% of us are gay! But a number of LGBT friends have suffered. Some people are fine until it comes to their own door, then it becomes a different beast to tackle.
“The fact that the referendum was passed is overwhelming. It got rid of the perception of Ireland as an archaic, Catholic country.
"I always wished we had more stories about being gay when I was growing up but young people have that now. They can feel comfortable in their own skins and they have the opportunity to express themselves.”
“The referendum changes everything. It means I have a status. That we [Margot and her civil partner Sarah Barry] have a part to play in things. Our coupledom is recognised.
"Everything about our life is protected. We will most definitely get married. That is very important. We had a big day for our civil partnership but we will do something maybe next year.”
It’s a long way from the days when she would talk about her weekend at work playing the “pronoun game”; trying not to say whether she spent the weekend with a “she” or a “he”.
Now, she’s a champion of workplace diversity and as CEO of the 1,800-employee Sodexo, has been listed among the Top 50 LGBT business leaders in the “Out at Work” list for the second year running.
“It’s important to be a role model in my work. There were few women out. That is very dispiriting.
"Gay women in Ireland would have felt financially disadvantaged or nervous about coming out in case it would have an economic impact or damage them professionally. During the referendum, I was working to try to get business behind the campaign. It was really positive.”
She was campaigning on the streets too and although that was mostly positive — “most people were really warm and positive, saying: ‘I don’t know why you are even asking: It’s a given’” — there were some awful nasty comments and name-calling too, albeit from a minority.
What has been most heartening, is the acceptance from friends and family in her native Bruff, Co Limerick. That support predates the referendum, but she says it was wonderful to be able to celebrate her civil partnership ceremony with family.“
It was absolutely amazing. We celebrated with our families. Older aunts were giving us big hugs. We had only laterally come out to our aunts.
They had a real about turn. I would like to think that the referendum has normalised [same-sex relationships] for people. A gay couple is just doing their own thing.”
But she says, there is more to do, referencing an attack on a woman in Dublin recently and a study showing many LGBT people are self-harming.
“The hate and prejudice has not gone away. I think it will take a number of years to come to terms with it. It’s a journey. However, I see the change in my own nieces and nephews.
"They are 100% behind us. Also my aunt and 95-year-old uncle. That is so affecting. We have come such a long way.”
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