Older and wiser in preparation for baby number two

Second time around, Georgina O’Halloran vows to be better prepared for her new bundle of joy

BEFORE the eagerly awaited arrival of my little bundle, Ben, 15 months ago, it was almost impossible for me as a  first- time parent-to-be to appreciate just how much joy and chaos our new baby would bring into our lives

If you are pregnant and anything like me, you will find it difficult to even get your head around the fact that you will actually have a real-live baby at the end of nine months — despite having had nine months to get used to the idea! While we all know that a newborn requires round-the-clock care and that practically your every waking moment will be spent looking after their needs, it’s simply very difficult to grasp what that actually means.

Night-time feeds and sleepless nights are par for the course — that’s a given — but most expectant first-time mums don’t realise that in the early weeks (or months even!) they are doing well if they manage to have a shower or to get dressed at some point in the day, or to send a single text message to a friend.

So with the benefit of hindsight and in anticipation of our second baby, due in May, here are some things I’ll be doing differently this time round, as well as some tips that might (or might not) prove useful for first-time mums-in-waiting to take on board.

1: CALM BEFORE THE STORM

Take some time before your due date to rest, watch boxsets, get your hair done, meet friends, and read, rather than doing what I did and frantically working all hours in the run up to your big day!

Labour is not an easy process and once baby arrives, practically all time for yourself goes out the window, so seize the opportunity for some me time. You’ll be glad you did. With baby number 2 I won’t have that opportunity this time round (unfortunately)!

2: GET AWAY FROM IT ALL

Take a break with your significant other before serious, uninterrupted quality time together becomes, if not a thing of the past, certainly a rare occurrence.

Once baby arrives, feeding, changing nappies, and doing mountains of laundry, as well as the usual domestic chores, take up so much of both of your time that you’ll be lucky if you get to watch a programme on TV together.

3: SUPPLY RUN

Cook and freeze dinners in advance You’ll make life a lot easier on yourselves for the first few weeks with a new baby if you have a well-stocked freezer and preparing dinner involves nothing more than taking something out to defrost. Last time round, my husband ended up doing a LOT of cooking!

4: TAKE A STUDY BREAK

Attending an antenatal class together is a good idea. It will give you some idea of what the birthing process entails and what to expect. I did one at Cork University Maternity Hospital, which was useful. Most maternity hospitals run them, while you can also opt to do classes privately.

5: BE FLEXIBLE

Don’t be too rigid about your birth plan.

While it’s obviously good to be informed and to know what your options are when you arrive at hospital (ie what your pain relief options are), labour does not necessarily always go to plan and post delivery some mothers can feel disappointed and upset when things do not work out the way they intended or anticipated (i.e. if they end up having an emergency caesarean section rather than a vaginal delivery.)

As with much else on this adventure, it’s best to keep an open mind.

6: SCOUT OUT LIKE MINDS

Research what mother and baby groups there are in your area.

Being at home every day on your own with a baby, when you are used to being out at work, is a huge life change so it’s good to have the option of getting out of the house and meeting up with other mothers for some adult conversation.

I found the breastfeeding group at the Blackrock Hall Medical Centre a life-line in the first six months or so. You realise that you’re not the only one at home with a baby. There are lots of community mother and baby groups, while Cuidiu, the Irish Childbirth Trust, run coffee mornings nationwide (www.cuidiu.ie, www.cuidiucork.net). Post-birth, the public health nurse can be a useful source of information as to what’s happening locally.

7: BREASTFEEDING SUPPORT

If you are considering breastfeeding, it can be useful to attend a breastfeeding class in advance. Many maternity hospitals run them and provide information as to the supports available locally to breastfeeding mothers. I found the tips at the one at CUMH invaluable. You can also pop along to one of the support group meetings run by Cuidiu or La Leche League www.lalecheleagueireland.com to get some tips in advance of baby’s arrival Once baby arrives:

8: SLEEP, SLEEP, SLEEP

Take every opportunity that arises to get some much-needed sleep. Try to nap when the baby naps. Let your partner take over when he/she is around and be sure to accept any offers made by relatives or friends alike to help-out while you rest. (I did this. No regrets there)

9: RELEASE YOUR INNER SLOB

Let the cleaning take a back seat. You will exhaust yourselves if you try and maintain the house in a pre-baby condition. It’s useful to keep one room in a presentable state where you can bring unexpected visitors who wish to coo over your new arrival.

10: MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER

It’s important to prioritise time as a couple each day together, even if that’s just having a 10-minute chat. You also need to facilitate each other in having some precious ‘me time’. When your partner gets home from work, seize the opportunity to get out for a quick walk and vice versa.